Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

*UPDATE*

Ladiessssss so I was debating on sharing this information as it means a lot to me so at my anatomy appointment they are referring me to get a second more detailed sonogram specifically for the babies heart. They are telling me that my babies heart is undelvoped on the left side and that it is possible that she will need heart surgery after i deliver. There sending me to a whole nother hospital and the damn doctor even said that i might wanna consider ending my pregnancy 😩 smh all this ...

So I definitely was scammed and the chick doesn’t want to send my money back until I send back the package. Something I haven’t received and it’s been two weeks now.

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

Can some one please tell me i was reading the pregnancy tracker it says second week you release a egg am i reading this wright in thats were sperm in egg meet!!!