The thing is I'm the one who ignores his abuse and force myself to be with him and force myself to love him....and then comes the abuse i cry, and cry and again force it for the next day and he start again.

You are in a very tough situation. I've been married to a man that treated me good but I didn't love. And I'm married to a man now that doesn't treat me great but I love him. Both are hard but I know love drives you to do great things. If you don't love him you'll never have that drive to make things work really. You may find a crutch to lean on as an excuse for a way out so you don't feel guilty for breaking things up. If he's emotionally abusive he needs to stop and change. Does he want to get help? Or change? Divorce is hard. You have to share your kids and it's the hardest thing I've ever been through watching my kids deal with separation and new step parents. You can't continue to be emotionally battered. But if you leave make it for that reason and not because you don't love him. I thought I didn't love my ex (and I'm over him now) but looking back I see that I really did. I used his anger problem and lust problem as my crutch to leave. I could've worked it out and kept my family together. BUT he has to be willing to get help and change his ways. Makes it difficult if he doesn't. Maybe your situation isn't like mine. But I hope you the best. It's an extremely tough decision to make.

He says i do everything wrong. Im not perfect and even when i try to impress him he tries to find a mistake to correct me in. Is hard dealing with a person like that. Ive taking him to church nothing works i dont love him at all. I do care for him though because i still see the good in him.

Let @shylamarie best advice ever! Took the words right out of my mouth :)

Yes very toxic its been 4 years ill never take my children away from him, but i cant deal with this i had a really bad panic attack i thought i was goong to die. We dont even love each other. He change for one day and the next day he emotionally abuses me. He never put his hands on me , but i think emotional is worst

In your other post you are asking about placing and order of protection against your children's father. So I am assuming (maybe I'm wrong) that the relationship is toxic and you need to get away.

Okay! Hold on. Before you leave or ask him to leave.
Have you told him how you feel? Communication is the best way to fix things. If you guys can't communicate well with each other, maybe try couple's therapy? It has worked wonders for many couples in the world (my parents are one example. Together for 30 years now).
If you have tried and tried with him and exhausted all options, then prepare yourself to end it and discuss options with him. You guys have children together. They should always come first. Make a plan to make it work. 😊
Go luck! If you need help, message me 😊 I went through a similar situation like this and now my life with my family is wonderful 💞

Take it a day at a time. Get yourself together and in a position to where you can leave. And get your own space

And let him know that he needs to stop because that's not okay for him to treat you that way

Not be with him but let him see his children