Man I gotta find some friends around here with a car to hang out with. Things are really bad right now with me and my bf. We had another bad fist fight again last night. I don't care when he hits me, but now I'm 6 months pregnant, so now I'm trying to protect my belly, and it's hard. Now I'm not a poor victim over here, I'm throwing punches too, and alot of times I go after him first and hit him first. I'm diagnosed bipolar, PTSD, intermittent explosive disorder (aka rage disorder) depression, anxiety, you name it, I have everything lol, so I have 0 tolerance for bullshit. So it takes 1 second and my whole body starts shaking with adrenaline and I completely snap, alot of time's I blackout and can't remember what I did. Anyways, back to what I was talking about, so last night he hit me first and that wasn't a bad move for him, and it was a ball's out fist fight. And the whole fight was about me catching him in a lie and I saw that he was friend requesting other girls on FB, and he completely turned everything around on me saying it's my fault for his actions and I deserved it. If he caught me doing anything like that, he'd put me in the hospital! So I tried to leave and he wouldn't let me. I told him I'm done with him and I'm leaving, so I need to somehow go to places and fill out applications for apartments and I have to do it all behind his back, and I have no way to do that. I gotta figure something out because this is getting really bad.. I can't believe I'm having a kid with him! I'm so stupid! End rant.