Hi guys, I have a question. So I just turned 20 on the 2nd of August I'm 21 weeks and this is my…

It was like this for me when I first got pregnant. My baby's father was a complete ass and even left for a bit when I refused to get an abortion. I'm 20 as well and this was definitely not planned, I didn't even want kids to begin with. But the best thing I can tell you is to just focus on you and your growing baby. Each day that he/she is inside you your bond is growing. Dont stress over him and his shit, I know it's hard and it sucks. Expecially whenever you want him to be a part of everything and he acts like a turd, but it's all worth it in the end. My boyfriend didn't come around until his mom and dad made him go to the ultrasound for the gender reveal. After that he was still an ass but I could tell something changed in him. Have you tried talking to him about your concerns and the problems? Even if he's an total ass whenever you try at least your words will be in his head and he will think about it and hopefully it changes him and if he doesn't then maybe it's for the best. I'm here if you want to talk ever. 💓

@shanicenettles93, Mines say he don't have any other kids which I find totally hard to believe because he's an asshole and his actions are very questionable

@debdeb1, awww I appreciate it I would love to use your help. And I've tried talking to him, I've told him the baby heart beat was real good and everything only thing he could say was oh. So that really pissed me off bad but I never told him that it did. I shouldn't even be talking to him after he told me that I can die on my birthday but turned around and said it was a song😑. How is that if we were arguing about me changing my number while he was in jail and didn't find out about it until he got out. So he says bitch that baby not mines you a hoe, you got ran by other niggas and if you claim it's mines I want a DNA test. But yet and still I try to communicate with him for my child's sake, then I would feel bad about myself because of the rude things he said to me. I'm just really tired of worrying about him and what he's doing!

That's how mine was too when I would tell him about the doctors appointments, and whenever I tried to show him the ultrasound pictures from my first one he wouldn't even look at them, he just told me to get it out of his face. & when i would cry about it he would tell me that I cry too much and to stop. I was hurt and upset but I didn't give up or stop trying. I know what you mean about only talking for your child's sake, mine put his hands on me (before i got pregnant) and had me questioning if I even wanted him in my life, then I found out about the baby and decided to try for the babies sake. You should ask him what song that he was talking about since he wants to make excuses & that's stupid of him to tell you he wants a DNA test but yet he's telling everyone on social media that he got you pregant? Like he needs to decide if he wants to be a father or not and to let you know so you can get your life together for you and your baby. Don't feel bad about yourself because he is insecure and scared and doesn't know how to channel his feelings. That's 100% his problem that he needs to work on and just because he says all these fucked up things doesn't mean they're true. You know what's true and what's not and it's up to him to accept it. It's hard but you gotta stop stressing over him and what he is doing. Even if you still care and it's hurting you just act like you don't care anymore. He will see this change in you and it will make him change and question his reality and ways.

@debdeb1, Wow that is sick he shouldn't have done that to you then wonder why you're crying we'll because he's being an asshole for no reason. Are you still pregnant or dealing with him now or no? But he's very evil towards me, first off he told me that he's a crack baby because his mom is on drugs and left him and his siblings for drugs. I think that could be apart of why he is that way and not care about his actions. And the social media thing he said he'll keep having sex with his new girl until she's pregnant don't nobody know about me and the kid that's almost here in 4 months. Only a few people in his family know but to everyone else my child is a secret and I don't like it. I'm not saying I don't appreciate my child because I do my baby is a huge blessing to me, but this pregnancy wasn't planned at all he wanted one by me I didn't want any children by him so now that I'm pregnant he's changed a lot and likes to try to control me but I don't do as he say. He's mentally abusive !

If this man is mentally abusive, it may be best to think about doing yourself and the baby a favor by putting your foot down. Call him out on his bull shit (maybe have a close friend, family member, etc. around if/when you do just incase he tries to lash out) and leave. From what I've been reading, it seems this man has little to no respect for you. In my opinion, the best way for him to understand that you know that you and your baby deserve a man who's more loving and involved, would be by doing what he believes is the unthinkable: a break up. And if he let's you go without a sweat, well be glad he's no longer in your life because you just saved yourself and the baby from a bunch of unnecessary harmful stress.

Ladies I'm not sure if you know of this man but I feel he will be of great help to you both! His name is Matthew Hussey and he has a bunch of relationship advice. Some of which I have found helpful myself! Here's the link to his Facebook page, he posts a lot of videos on there (he also has more in depth advice with his paid program... I don't have it cause I'm broke lol)

@debdeb1 @chanellelewis31

https://www.facebook.com/CoachMatthewHussey/

It's definitely best to be done with him. Making you stress isn't good for you or the baby. He's not worth it and you definitely deserve better! I say leave him and wait for someone better. 😃

I say walk away. If he doesn't want to be there then ok. He say he needs a DNA test, serve them papers and get that child support. But don't stress yourself over his actions. You are responsible for you and that baby. You got this

You need to do you and forget him. I'm not saying you go cuss him out or even say anything to him. Just *poof* stop talking to him, stop telling him about the baby. All he's going to do is bring you down. So find people are excited for you. Get his name out of your head and out of your mouth. He doesn't deserve anymore of your energy.

@amadamforbes, you are absolutely right, and he doesn't have any respect at all especially since I told him that I didn't want to be with him anymore it went down after that he showed out bad. Just like the time I found out I was pregnant he said you can't be going back and forth to Redford because that's too far from me and I don't want nobody about you or my baby.. but see the crazy thing is he knows when I'm in Redford I'm always at my family house I don't be anywhere else. So basically he doesn't want me around my family but want me around his, I think not! I don't know those people from a can of paint!

@sjgraham1922, oh yeah I already told him that I'll give him exactly what he wants and he'll go on child support. He tried to be nice and ask when was my next appointment so that he could go because he don't want to get on child support. He says the baby is not his because I changed my number while he was in jail and I stopped communicating with him. And that I'm fake for doing that to him😒

@rowdymama, I've disappeared on him and he continued to call and text but gotten no response until the 3rd or 2nd day I got tired of it and said please leave me alone, he got smart so I said god bless you. He tells me that I'm fake for saying that to him then I told him peace and blessings. Oh he didn't like that.

@chanellelewis31 good! Keep yourself calm and together. Let him loose his mind. If he wants to start being nice, fine but until then, #godbless 😂🤣

@rowdymama, lol right. He want to be evil towards me so I'll send god his way!

@chanellelewis31 I know I'm late, I fell asleep lol but yeah I am still with him and pregnant with his child. But he's made a complete 360 with his life and I couldn't be more proud. He's still an asshole, but it's different now.

But I agree with what everyone said, you gotta let him go and focus on you and your baby. The stress is bad for the both of you and you definitely don't need someone like that in your life or a child's life. You don't want your baby growing up seeing him act and treat you and other women like this and then your baby thinking it's okay. If he wants to keep you and the baby and secret, wait until that DNA test comes back & put his ass on blast and child support. Fuck his mind control games. You don't need that ma. 💕

@debdeb1, At least he's gotten better than before and that's good 😊, and I am and he better not try that in front of my child I'll kindly and quickly pepper spray and tase him within the quickness and walk away like nothing happened. Because I'm tired of his devilish ways

@chanellelewis31 you go girl!! And save any nasty messages or anything bad he says about you so if you have to go to court you have stuff to back you up.

@debdeb1, I most definitely will, he's already on a $1,000 probation because of a gun charge and that's still not paid off yet. He should be the last one being mean to people when he needs help