Infertility is no joke. Dean and I tried for 3 years. I wanted to surprise him with the words "your…

Infertility is no joke. Dean and I tried for 3 years. I wanted to surprise him with the words "your going to be a daddy!" More then anything, for days I would open up a new pack of Pregnancy tests, Pee on them, and they would end up in the trash. Month after month, year after year. My hopes and dreams were crushed. All I wanted to see were those two pink lines. All I wanted to do was promote Dean from a husband to Daddy. But I failed. I would find myself stuffing my face with tissues, and trying to find the courage to let him know I failed him yet again.

I wanted to have the excitement of the doctor walking in and saying "Congratulations! You're pregnant! " But it just wouldn't happen. I gave up. Then the F word came. "Fertility" Treatments, we thought it would be a sure thing. After tests to see if I was ovulating, even our doctor gave up on us. Once again, I was crushed. I'll never forget those words. "Maybe you should stop trying, and see a Real fertility specialist" my heart sank to my stomach as I fell to my knees. That was it. We would never get pregnant. We completely stopped trying all hope was gone. The last faith we had was destroyed. You get married and have kids. That's how life goes, and we couldn't. I was a terrible wife, Terrible mother. I didn't want to live. I prayed and prayed, and I couldn't pray anymore. Maybe we weren't meant to be Parents

Then... July 7th 2016 knowing I would let Dean and myself down again, I took my final pregnancy test. I remember thinking to myself, "is that really what I think it is? Are there really two lines?" I ran and showed Dean, he said no. I texted my sister Amanda, she said maybe. Two days later, I took another test, Negative.

What was going on? I had my hopes up for nothing. Until I made the appointment, I went to the doctor and they collected my sample, five minutes later the doctor came in " Sorry" it's negative. I asked "are you sure" she looked again and the line was showing up. Oh my gosh! My stomach was full of butterflies, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. I left the appointment with so many questions, and no answers. I did blood work and another two days later I seen the phone number come across my cell phone screen. "Hello? Hi may I please speak to Caitlynn?" Long pause. " hi this is So and so from Dr Deckers office" I'm just calling to let you know we got your test results in" "okay " I said while taking a huge breath and my heart racing " Congratulations! Your definitely pregnant!"

After 3 long years I finally heard those words. I / we couldn't be happier.

We were blessed with a beautiful Baby girl.

And now 4.5 months later here we are trying again, With pregnancy tests negative over and over every month, with no signs of ovulating. Leaving us Crushed and confused. Infertility is no joke