Omg! I'm already emotionally tired and your post just about made me cry. I'm praying for you and for strength to get through this.

If you're thinking about hurting yourself you need to get help. That's never the way to respond to a situation. Take it from someone who has suffered from suicidal thoughts for over a decade. Whether it is a counselor or 51/50ing yourself you need to get help because you aren't in the right state of mind to handle your problems and its not fair to your child to be like that. If your marriage is falling apart then its time to put your big girl panties on and handle life like an adult. Either call it quits and start moving on or try harder to make it work and stay strong through the difficulties.

Look at your little one. You can do this. I'm in a similar situation. Message me if you wanna talk or vent

Hunny dont EVER feel guilty for having a panic attack. If he wants to be rude about it fine. But you can't control his actions if you have one. Panic attacks are very scary. I hope yall dont split... But he needs to learn that these panic attacks are hard to prevent because we have to figure the exact cause of them and try to prevent it.

Even if it is all your fault girl you gotta put your big panties on and focus on the the road ahead. If this is a done situation look around at what you still have. A precious little girl is looking to you to show her how to be miss independent. There are days that will break you but always know there will be a better tomrrow. Don't be afraid to ask for help but more than anything, keep going. You can do this. You can fucking do this!!