#mombassadorchat - Co-parenting Tips with @withlovedkj
#mombassadorchat - Co-parenting Tips with @withlovedkj
“Be the person you want your child to become.”
-Betsy Brown Braun
Deon has a beautifully blended family and is a mother of 1 and stepmother of 3. She holds a Master of Arts in Counseling and working towards her professional licensure. She has over 7 years of experience working with children and families in the areas of mental illnesses, parenting difficulties and behavioral issues. She comes to the table with lots of personal experience when it comes to co-parenting as she assists her husband with effectively co-parenting their blended family to create the best co-parenting experience for everyone involved. Together they have worked together to master the art of co-parenting for over 8 years.
**Please keep in mind that co-parenting can get complicated for many reasons and what works one persons situation may not work for your situation. These tips are merely suggestions.
There’s a misconception that co-parenting is just for divorced parents but if you and your child’s father is separated then you are most likely co-parenting.
-Don't talk negative about the other parent to the child or in front of the child
-Allow your child to spend time with the other parent (unless there is extenuating circumstances that prevents you from doing so, such as abuse, neglect, etc.)
-Make decisions that are in the best interest of the child. It’s not about you.
-Work towards developing a good relationship with the other parent
-Stop thinking that you are always right. Ego can ruin good relationships
-Don’t communicate through your child. Remember, parents talk to one another.
-Make communication between the other parent meaningful and purposeful
-Settle custody, finance dispute outside of court if you can. Court can get messy and costly and put a strain on everyone's relationship that is involved, especially the child.
-Agree to disagree, point blank.
-Practice breathing techniques to deal with frustration
-Figure out positive ways to cope with anger towards the other parent (if needed). For example, expressing your feeling to your spouse or significant other.
-Agree to parenting day and times and don't deviate from it unless it is absolutely necessary. Your parenting time is just important as the other parent's time.
-Be committed to successfully co-parenting and let your actions display that commitment.
-Be open to change
-Don’t force your beliefs about the other parent on your child.
-Pick your battles, co-parenting requires patience, compromise, communication and understanding.
-Don’t’ accept parenting advice from bad influences.
-Seek counseling for yourself and/or your family if desired.
Remember to set a good example for your child/ren and BE THANKFUL! Being a parent is a beautiful experience and does not have to be stressful.
Deon 🌻www.individualisticbeauty.com·
Мама четверых детей
In a perfect world, it's best to have both parents on board when it comes to Coparenting but that usually doesn't happen. It's difficult but continue to keep making the best decisions on behalf of the child and over time it will be worth it. Keep doing a great job by supporting your husband. May I ask what you mean when you say she's not "sane" enough to consider what's best for the kids? @bebechica,
Shani·
Многодетная мама (5 детей)
I'll give an example, two weekends ago we had the boys and they were to put their clothes in their bookbag to take home and they forgot the clothes. She pulled with the kids realized they didn't have the clothes called him to say she don't have the clothes. He said they can get them tomorrow or next week when he sees then again. She did a u-turned and can speeding towards him like she was going to hit him. He sped off , keep in mind she has the boys in her car and he has out son in his car. She's chasing him he's trying to get away and he's rubbing red lights and stop signs to try to catch him. He got away but that was dangerous. She pops pills etc so I don't think she's in her right mind @withlovedkj
Deon 🌻www.individualisticbeauty.com·
Мама четверых детей
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you all can communicate with the kids to make sure they follow instructions regarding their belonging so that situations like you described above can be avoided. Communicating the dangers of the chase that happened to their mom should also be explored and discussed so that it won't happen again. Also, some situations are out of our control and if there is suspicion of any neglect to the children you can report that to the proper authorities in your area. @bebechica,
Shani·
Многодетная мама (5 детей)
So I have thought about getting the authorities involved but no sure if it will just last back at square one. She pops molly, perks, smokes weed around the kids. (The kids confirmed to my husband that she smokes the weed with them in her car) , the kids said sometimes when school was in she would not be home and they had to wait in the apt hallway, and or leaving them home a lot at times. They are 6 and 8. My husband had filled out contempt paper work at court and is waiting on a date. Because he is supposed to get the kids two full weeks a month in the summer and during the rest of the year the first 3 weekends And she does what she wants dont show up for drop off etc. it's truly said. She bad mouths their dad to the kids as well @withlovedkj
Deon 🌻www.individualisticbeauty.com·
Мама четверых детей
Seems like you all are taking the necessary steps to make sure the kids are safe. It may be tough especially because the kids are young but they will appreciate all that you're doing for them when they are able to understand what occurred. Your attorney may be able to assist you with including a clause in the court documents that expresses that she shall not talk negative about the other parent to the kids. I hope that things gets better for you and your husband and that the kids remain in a safe, loving environment. You're a good stepmother and I'm sure your husband appreciates all of your support in this tough situation. @bebechica,
Shani·
Многодетная мама (5 детей)
Thanks honey, I appreciate the open ear and topic. They are def loved and I hope and pray one day she wakes up to say it's not worth the drama and sets a better example. Enjoy your night!
Deon 🌻www.individualisticbeauty.com·
Мама четверых детей
You're welcome& thank you @bebechica,
marlena jones ·
Мама двоих (младенец)
Oh I would love some advice! I have never meant the outside kids before. And they are teens. Whereas I have 2 babies. Is it to early to try and introduce my kids to their brothers? We live in different states also.