My child's brain doesn't work correctly, and I'm frustrated. Frustrated because as he was very late meeting milestones…
My child's brain doesn't work correctly, and I'm frustrated.
Frustrated because as he was very late meeting milestones as a toddler, his doctors weren't worried.
Frustrated because after 3 years of daily horrible tantrums, and spending most days in tears not knowing how to handle my toddler who was so full of rage, I still didn't have any answers.
Frustrated because things finally got a lot better when he was 4 years old, and the tantrums began disappearing.. but when he started kindergarten the teacher told me he was having a very difficult time in school. He couldn't keep up with the rate the rest of the class was learning, and he always needed his own set of instructions separate from everyone else.
Frustrated because once a doctor finally said "Something is off, I think he may have high functioning autism." and set up an appointment with a psychologist, that appointment was MONTHS away.
Frustrated because once I spoke to the psychologist, she set up an appointment to have him tested, and that was several more MONTHS away. And once we go to that appointment, I'm sure we will have to wait more months for the appointment to get the results.
I'M SO FRUSTRATED. Because I don't have answers, I don't know what to expect of my child, I don't know when I should be punishing him for certain behavior, or if it's part of a disorder and punishment is just making things worse. I'm so frustrated that my son will be 7 in October, and all this time I haven't been able to get any answers, and have no idea how I should be parenting my child so he can succeed in school and life.
Brea·
Sorry mama. ☹ That sounds very frustrating. Maybe try joining a mom group for moms of kids with autism. It may help you get a better understanding of it since doctors, etc. Seem to be no help.
Brea·
And if I'm not mistaken, @smilingwithmyawesome4kids has a son with autism. Correct me if I'm wrong!
But maybe she could also give you advice. 💕
JoAnna Davis·
Мама двоих (младенец), ждёт третьего
@breloya Thank you. I have no idea how to even go about finding a group like that 😟
I think I've had so much trouble getting help because his symptoms aren't blatant. Unless you're in a position of trying to teach him, or have him follow directions, you can't really tell that he's much different than other kids his age. All of my family just think he's kind of quirky, and think I shouldn't be having him tested at all.
Brea·
If it were me, I'd search on facebook groups keywords like, "autism. And also maybe google. I'm sure something will pop up, even if it's just one group or forum, that's a start.
And I'm sure I've run into plenty of children and adults with autism or some disability and didn't even realize it. They aren't some weird people. Nobody is. They're as normal as the rest of us. Everyone learns differently, maybe try finding a school or class more willing to work with him. He may be a fast learner, just might not learn from the more "custom" way. He may be more visual and physical, compared to many who can just sit and listen to teachers talk all day. There are so many different ways to learn, that doesn't make him abnormal. And although they don't want you to get him tested, I can understand why you would want to. Like you said above, you don't want to punish him for certain things if he can't really help it and you want to find ways to help him succeed. I hope you get some answers soon and sorry for the long response.
Buddhist Mama·
Three sentences in I could have told you your son has autism. My oldest does too. I called it at 18 months when I saw some of the warning signs. They truly are in a world of their own. Its a difficult thing for a mother but the best thing you can do is educate yourself about autism. Read everything you can get your hands on so you can know what it feels like to be in his shoes for a day. Which I'm sure isn't easy. Hang in there and if you need someone to talk to I'm here!
JoAnna Davis·
Мама двоих (младенец), ждёт третьего
@breloya Thank you for the support! His school did do a screening for certain disabilities and determined that he has a communication issue, so they got him into speech therapy to help him better express his thoughts. But they recommended seeing a doctor to be screened for other problems.
JoAnna Davis·
Мама двоих (младенец), ждёт третьего
@ilovemychildren thank you, I've been doing all sorts of reading and studying, but there are SO many different symptoms and disorders for autism out there, it's really hard to pinpoint what I should be focusing on without having a more specific diagnosis from screening 😣
Buddhist Mama·
@joanna.davis regardless of where he falls on the spectrum you should be able to educate yourself on the basic ways to handle them