@dmm1976 not only does it help you keep track and have records. It shows the courts your serious, organized, smart and trying your best for your children. It looks good on your part in court. I'd also communicate with him as much as possible over text and save them as well.

Sorry for posting so much lol. I found this in regards to your situation...I'm assuming you aren't married. Forgive me if that's wrong.

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"IF THE PARENTS ARE NOT MARRIED AND WERE NEVER MARRIED, and there is no court order for custody of the child, then the mother of the child has legal custody of that child until a court says otherwise. In other words, the mother of a child born outside of marriage has sole legal custody of the child unless a court has issued an order giving someone else custody."

That's your states court website

Is he on the birth certificate?

@mommiesaremagical14 good idea, get the visitation schedule you have now in writing and get it notarized with both your signature. You can use it in court later to show he hasn't been using the time he asked for.

All you have to do is file at your courthouse. You can usually download forms on your courthouse website...our courthouse had a self help area where people would give you the forms you need and make sure you fill them out properly.

You can file for sole custody, with him having reasonable visitation. Then you can start keeping track of the visitation he doesn't use, and later ( usually over a year) file to decrease it based on the status quo he set ( by not showing up)

Note that custody and child support will not have much to do with each other ( although the more overnights he has may lower his obligation some what. )

Also, don't let him scare you with lawyers. We didn't have a lawyer, hubby's baby momma did, and it didn't help her at all. She wanted him to have supervised visits and raise his child support. He ended up getting 1/3 of the year and lower child support. It's all about the facts and not being emotional and putting the other parent down personally.

Courts have seen all the tricks and twists parents try to play. So if you stay level headed. Keep records. Do your research in your state, use all the resources available to you. ( Legal aid, child advocate etc) you can totally do this without a lawyer.

Don't give him any ammo in texts or on the phone. Keep it all business, only about your child.

Don't try to limit his visitation. If he doesn't use it it's on him, but don't try to use it against him. Keep her available to him on the agreed schedule.

Let him dig his own hole with pettiness and bs. Courts see right through it. You won't lose custody of your child unless he can prove neglect and abuse. Or drugs or illegal activities.

Hugs sorry so long but we went through this for 5 years.

@craft.brooke.e, hunny if he can afford one and you can't, you are going to have a hard time. At least get a free consultation with one and see if they can make HIM pay your fees if you take them on as your council. Mine took payments from me I didn't have to pay him all at once. These things can get very ugly and if you aren't covered with someone who knows how to talk to these judges (and some of them are absolutely hateful!) then you are at risk.

@brookemmoore, I can't afford a lawyer

@mommiesaremagical14, okay, I'm going to keep records of everything now. It's so ridiculous and stressful

Gotta get a lawyer and make sure you document everything!

Keep a record of everything. The times he has set to have her, the days he's late, the days he doesn't show up at all, how long he has her, what state she was in when she left the the state she's in when she gets returned to you etc....