Hubby and I haven't been intimate in a month. The last time we were, I initiated it. Since the baby has been born he…
Hubby and I haven't been intimate in a month. The last time we were, I initiated it. Since the baby has been born he pretty much hasn't initiated it, I have. Before she was born we had a long streak of not doing it because I was nervous of hurting her (that was my mistake and I feel awful for depriving him of that). I tried again tonight and he said he was exhausted and that it's too hot out. I just don't understand. It feels like we don't have our spark anymore. We used to have trouble keeping our hands off each other. Do you think this is his form of "punishment" for me since I refused for so long when I was pregnant? It really sucks. Does anyone else have this issue?
Suni·
Мама двоих (5 лет, 14 лет)
We did after my first. It took a while for it to feel right again. You probably have to plan a date night of sorts. Even if you can't get away without the baby at this point, making a few hours that the baby is asleep special quality time without the full intimacy and actually talking things out will help.
Carla·
Мама дочки-младенца
@sunibubu, yeah. I know having the baby means I'm more tired and he works all day so I understand but she had finally fallen asleep and I was excited to finally get to do it and he turned me down. Then kept asking if I was alright because he knew I was feeling bad about it. I guess you're right that we have to plan a night to be more romantic. It just feels like he doesn't even want to be romantic with me anymore. I know having a baby changes things but I didn't think it would change this much.
Marilu·
You know I'm there. Today was the first time he's initiated it in months. And we've had a bad weekend. But we don't get very far because the kids here and the baby woke up. Plus the condom doesn't feel good. :/ I get sick of the excuses.
Carla·
Мама дочки-младенца
@mommyhawkins, yeah he was all over me when I was pregnant and I would say no which was wrong of me - but I'm trying to make up for it! We went longer than 40 days when I was pregnant. Which now I feel awful & silly about because my OB said sex is perfectly fine but I just had such bad anxiety. Now we never do it and it rly sucks!
Carla·
Мама дочки-младенца
@morganmommy79, ugh that's the worst. That's why I try to do it when she's asleep but having more kids it must be hard. it just sucks like I get you're tired, so am I... but one of us has to keep it going
Marilu·
Ever get to that place where you're so hurt all the time by things he says and does that he's just got to say one thing and it ruins your whole day? That's me. Today we went out to eat and he tried inviting his brother (without telling me) but he already had plans. He didn't think I heard him. Anyway, I had something on my pants and I wiped it off with a baby wipe and it literally stripped my jeans of the color and put little holes in the fabric. I was like wow!! Look at that. That's crazy! He quietly looked at me with that look of disgust and said, you are so overly dramatic. I said dramatic?? He said yes, about everything you're just so dramatic. 😥idk why but it broke my heart. I've been silent since lunch. Why does he have to be so hurtful all the time? I'm a good person. I'm a good wife, good mom... no matter what I do he seems disgusted by it. 😔
Marilu·
See... I just thought it was crazy that it took the color from my jeans. Even he was curious about it. But I was the dramatic one.
Carla·
Мама дочки-младенца
@morganmommy79, ugh it seems like he just wants to try to find things to say to you. I definitely know what you mean. I mean my hubby jokes around a lot and sometimes I'm not in the mood for it and I'm literally like can you stfu? Have you ever tried counseling?
Marilu·
@babyking1, yes but he won't do it again. I tell too much apparently. He said I threw him under the bus. Hello! If I lie it won't help.