I haven't put on bathing suit since my SO and I got back together last year in may. I don't how I…

I haven't put on bathing suit since my SO and I got back together last year in may. I don't how I feel about this he ain't going to b with me today. They are having a cook out for work and I have my nieces 2nd bday party. Still ain't going to the lake unless he is with me. That been a year too. Guess I'm a rock tiger strip and my 36 week baby bump.