Lots of mommy guilt right now...like, my depression is starting to hit pretty hard again because i…

Lots of mommy guilt right now...like, my depression is starting to hit pretty hard again because i feel so awful.

I HATE working. I only see Isabelle for 10-15mins in the mornings before I leave for work. I don't pick her up until 530. So I get to see her for 2 or 3 hours at most before she goes to bed, except for my days off (only 1 or 2 days a week). I'm doing this FOR her so we won't be struggling and she can have things she needs and she can grow up in a safer neighborhood, but I feel like I'm failing as a mother. ☹ I never see her! I feel like I don't even have a baby sometimes...I miss her so much. I cry every day on my break and I call my babysitter and FaceTime with her.

And I'm off today, but I don't have her. My parents asked weeks ago if they could take her last night for a memorial day party today, and I wasn't working at the time so I said yes. I know i could gave changed my mind but I didn't want to hurt any feelings, and my parents hadn't seen her in almost a month, so I know they really missed her. But I feel so incredibly guilty about not being with her today on my day off.

Working early definitely has its perks in the sense that I get off earlier, but sometimes I don't get to see her at all before I leave for work. I'm just sad...I don't know what to do...