Today is a rough day, emotionally. I'm getting in my head a bit. But after reading 2 posts now…

Today is a rough day, emotionally. I'm getting in my head a bit. But after reading 2 posts now today... 1 on her & 1 on my other pregnancy app.. about women who have lost their baby when expecting to be delivering. 1 of the women were exactly the amount of weeks I am. .. my heart broken & has sunk into my stomach & rising in my throat. My thoughts & prayers been with these women all day & Will continue to be that they find the help & support to get them through such a terrifying & emotional time!!

But I can't help to keep thinking what if something like this happens to me, & how I would crumble & fall till there was nothing left of me. I think this bc I constantly am a worrier & wonder about the what ifs till they eat my alive. .. & I can't help it. I've have 6MCs in the past so this baby has truly been a miracle that has been hard to become happy about bc I feel if I get excited something bad will come. .. I know that not healthy, but I can't help it.

I don't meant to post something so sad. Or.to make it seem like I'm just caring about me when these other women are going through this tragedy right now, as I'm worrying about what Ifs .. my heart goes out to both these women & their SO & families. ..

I'm now terrified & can't get any of this out of my head.