There's so much I need to be doing right now, but NOTHING I want to be doing more than rocking this…

There's so much I need to be doing right now, but NOTHING I want to be doing more than rocking this sweet boy. I'm sitting in my Mama's rocking chair, rocking the last baby I will ever have and the last grandchild she ever met. I can feel her with me. I miss her so much. I can remember when I was little and she would rock me in the rocking chair most every night. I always felt so safe and so loved in her arms. It's one of my best childhood memories and I will forever cherish it. Next weekend is Mother's Day. The first Mother's Day I will ever have without her. I don't want to face it. I don't want to even wake up that day. I want to stay in bed all day and wait for it to pass, but I know I can't. I know it will be hard, but my babies need me to keep going and be strong. I love you Mama and I know how much you loved me now. I also know how much I hurt you over the years. Never intentionally. I let my own selfish needs and my own life keep me from being the daughter you wanted me to be and I pray you can forgive me. I hope, one day, I'll be able to tell you face to face. In the meantime, I will keep rocking my baby until he doesn't want me to anymore and I will keep loving all of my babies as you loved me. I know they will hurt me many times. That's already started. But I also know it will never change how much I love them. Nothing can change a Mother's love for her children. You taught me that. ❤️