It's always worse at night, but it's never really easy... being alone when you're pregnant is on a whole other level of…
It's always worse at night, but it's never really easy... being alone when you're pregnant is on a whole other level of pain. He doesn't come home at night and I just cry for the man I thought he would become, but it was all an illusion, a figment of my imagination because he never showed me what a real man was and at 15 I didn't know any better. I cry hoping this pain goes away, I cry because I feel betrayed, I was conned into believing all this was my fault when in reality he was to blame. I stayed 15 by having someone take care of me... he stayed 18 and never really matured. The things he had accomplished are because I stood by and held him up when he was down, the times I tried to better myself he would sabotage due to his insecurities, but now all I hear is that i don't contribute to this household. I moved some of my things to my brothers over the weekend, but I have to stay until the end of the school year for the kids. Hopefully this will be the last time I feel this way. I'm grieving for the man I thought he would become, but instead he was and always will be a coward that never holds himself accountable. ❤️
Stephanie Statham·
I'm new to this app, and came across your update..
This might be a little long,but I felt like I needed to share.. 🙂
I have been in a similar situation, with my first daughters father. I sat around waiting for SIX YEARS for him to make a change. Just a change as little as being home when he should be..he never made any changes.
I fully relied on him to support me. I was at stay at home mom, he took my car everyday, until it was either repossessed or broken down (i had seversl through out our time together)
I literally had nothing..
(It was also an emotionally and physically abusive relationship)
He had me believing in my mind that no one would ever want me, I was nothing, I could never be anything, and that I needed him in order to make it through life..
One day I woke up, (after having a fight that morning,[he broke my phone], because he literally had been out all night..) and said to myself..
I'M DONE.
He was sleeping off his night out, so I got his phone, called my parents and woke him up to me having all of my things along with our daughters packed..and told him to take me to meet my parents.
He begged and pleaded, and I just ignored what he said..and basically just said, I tried to tell you one day I'd have enough.
Today is that day.
I left, he still begged for me to come back but I stuck to what I meant.
When I left, I had no feelings. I didn't miss him, I didn't miss the situation, I didn't miss anything. To this day he still says he never touched me or abused me in any way.
But I'm now happily married to my (high school boyfriend) best friend, and see how great life can be! Do we have the perfect marriage? Lol heck no! Far from it! Do we argue sometimes, yes. Do we have all the other issues everyone else's marriage suffers from time to time? I'm pretty positive we do.
BUT, I'm happy. I have someone who comes home every night, I have someone who takes care of me, and helps me when I need help. I have someone who stands up to take care of my daughter when he father fails to do so. I have someone who tells me they love me everyday & night.
We're also expecting a baby in June. 🙂💕
YOU CAN HAVE THE SAME. I never thought I'd get the strength to leave. Ever. It's been 5 years since I left...and I still thank God every day that I did what I did. Do I feel bad for my daughter that her parents aren't together? Yes. But I feel even better about her seeing me/him us happy.
Everyone always told me one day I'd have enough and that I would know when...I never believed I'd get to the point of leaving and never going back. I never thought I was strong enough to start completely over..but I did.
I left with no money, no car, no cell phone, I had very few friends, and within 6 months, I had money, I had a vehicle, I had a job,I had a phone..and most importantly, I was happy.
You can do this to. Don't settle for less than you deserve, Hun. Because I promise there is a MAN out there that would love to have you and come home to you every night..
If you ever would like to talk, feel free to message me (I think that's an option here? Lol) I don't mind talking and being there even if you just want a ear to listen. If not, I wish you the best and hope you can find your happiness that you deserve. 💗☺
Delores Monter·
Мама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого
@stephs, omg woman, I just read this... I was gonna try and message you but I can't because you have to accept my follow. I hope your still on this... I need strength like yours❤️
Stephanie Statham·
@lola-tx awh, thank you. I don't feel strong girl! But I felt in that situation, I had no choice but to be! I'll accept your request to follow! 💜