I'm trying not to even talk about my pregnancy at this point. I'm so scared I'm gonna get to the point where I have to…

I'm trying not to even talk about my pregnancy at this point. I'm so scared I'm gonna get to the point where I have to be induced, and I feel like I'm jinxing going into labor because I want it so bad. my birthday,my sons birthday and the baby we losts birthdays are all at the end of the week and I so wanted this baby's day to be separated at least a tiny bit... I feel like everyone keeps checking on me cuz they're anxious for baby but don't really care how I am at this point. I feel guilty that I'm not appreciating this time more but I'm also kinda disappointed that he's not here yet. Ugh. The waiting and not knowing is rough. My bf doesn't even seem to care. He just acts like he wants time off work and I'm scared once the baby comes he won't be a great help anyways and it'll just make everything worse. I'm a stress case. Smh.