This is totally not mom related but how do you deal with a partner cheating? It's been 3 months since I found out and I…

It's hard to move past. I've dealt with it and I'm not going to tell you to move on because something like that hurts a person. It's just a matter of you have to explain to her that time does heal and that means if it takes years it does but she has to help you regain that security again. If you can't, sometimes it is best to let it go. Eventually you do move on. There is still stuff that hurts me from two years ago. It is hard love, hang in there and just tell her that it isn't that easy... I'm here to talk if you need anything ❤️

@megbaby07, thank you ❤. I've told her that it will take time for me to get to an okay head space with this. But she doesn't understand why I haven't moved on, why I don't want to be intimate etc etc and I get pissed that she would even have to question why. I just look at her sometimes and get mad at how she played me like a fool. It's good to know someone else has gone through it and made progress because sometimes I feel like I will never get over it

It takes time to get past it. Either they will stay by your side and correct and prove themselves better or they won't and that's a shame

@wbrianna20, no girl, I'm STILL dealing with bullshit from him. You just have to take this time and focus on you and building that security blanket with each other again. I don't blame you for not wanting to be intimate. It's hard after being beaten down emotionally. She wouldn't be so easy to move on if it was done to her. Nobody is. She is going to have to understand that it isn't as easy as a snap. You're doing what's helping you cope and that's what you should do. I'm sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves that. You may never "get over it" it will always be there but you will be able to cope with it better and be able to have it there but still be happy. It's good to have those things because it gives you strength to not put up with it again.

Move on without them or move on with them. Holding on to those feelings will only make your relationship worse.

@tholliswilliams, she says she wants to change but she has a history of things of this nature. 1st time it was an old friend that she kissed, 2nd time it was a co worker she was kissing and feeling up on, 3rd time it was guy friend who was a co worker that she slept with while I was at work! So I have a hard time believing things will really be different

@breeee, I want to move on with her but I feel like it's just a matter of time before something else happens

Have you guys talked about counseling? She may have some unresolved issues that she is also struggling to let go of from her past, which may have lead to her unfaithfulness... and seeing you in pain might bring up stuff in her own life that she may need to face! I know after I thought my ex had multiple affairs, he convinced me that I was just insecure and making something out of nothing... until I caught him red handed... then he tucked tail and had to face his own realities... sadly, he decided it was easier to walk away, than make the necessary changes in himself... but at least I knew exactly where we were! And the counseling helped me figure out how I could keep from finding that same type of person again! I'm in an amazing relationship, with someone I never would have considered prior to counseling... I'm so grateful that I was able to identify my own issues so I'd stop the cycle! I wish you nothing but the best!

@wbrianna20, then it sounds like you should brake up. I hope you find the strength within you to figure out what you need to do, it sounds like you have your kind made up

@dreamermom, wow, hearing that made me tear up a little because I honestly think sometimes my gf stays because she doesn't want to abandon me with the kids, but I've wanted to go to counseling and therapy but we haven't found a couple counselor in our area that takes our insurance. She tries to convince me that she's done being unfaithful but I'm just not sure I believe her. Thank you so much for the advice and I'm happy your in a great relationship!

@breeee, I hope I do too, I don't want to make it work just for the kids. She at times will blame me for why she's not happy or reaching her full potential and that makes me think if we should really continue to make things work.

@wbrianna20, Check into some non-profit organizations... some of them might be willing to meet with you guys for like $20 a session... it would be a place to start! And maybe it will open a door for you to start healing! No matter if you two stay together or not, at least you will be in a better place emotionally! You being the best version of you, is the best gift you can give your children!

@wbrianna20 she "wants" to change but will she for the sake of you and your kids? Do whatever you think you Should, whatever you feel in your heart. I've been through this same thing before with an ex

@dreamermom, I agree ❤ I will check some out. Thank you

@tholliswilliams, I'm not sure, when we get into arguments it seems she forgets about being a better person for the kids and makes it seem like she's doing everything because I ask her to and not because she wants to be a better person. She will make comments about her not being where she needs to be because of the kids and blah blah blah

@wbrianna20 not liking what I'm hearing. That's something to keep an eye on and observation

@tholliswilliams, tell me about it 😔

Itll be a year since mine cheated on me next month but I found out in September from conversations and pictures in his phone for which he denied then gave me 5 separate stories. The last one isn't even the truth but I let it go. He's on thin ice, I told him I don't trust him. I feel depressed about it often bc he persued me so hard before we dated and we went through ALOT of ups and downs. Worst part, other than him lying to me about it x5 even though I had the proof, was that it was right around when he got fired. I stayed with him and he had the nerve to cheat on me with the last story being that why did he deserve to be with me after he got fired? Bc if I'm with you, I'm truly with you. But I feel betrayed bc we had just gotten engaged in April he cheated in May. Pos he is

@twinpeanut, omg I'm really sorry to hear about that! Getting engaged and then something bad like that happening. But I feel your anger and pain. I constantly asked my gf is anything was going on that she needed to tell me and she would deny it and deny it, and swear on our daughters life and her deceased mothers life that nothing was wrong, that nothing happened that I needed to know. She cheated on me weeks after us getting together, weeks before our anniversary which she made sure we celebrated, lied to me through Christmas and New Years like nothing was going on and finally broke down and told me. I was appalled tbh. Specially her letting me believe her shit story for so long. She claimed she didn't go to his house with the intent of sleeping with him but that's a lie and to this day I still wonder what parts of her story were lies.