Growing up, it was just my mom, my sister and I. My mom was an alcoholic, and very disconnected most…
Growing up, it was just my mom, my sister and I. My mom was an alcoholic, and very disconnected most of my childhood. I was happy, my memories are mostly good and I felt safe and well taken care of. But she definitely wasn't the mom I'd choose for my own kids. Now that I have kids, and she's passed along that not so desirable gene, I've done everything I can to learn from her mistakes and be better despite my hardships. I haven't been perfect. I've fallen many times along the way. But I've always put my kids first and made sure they're well cared for. My relationship with my mom is so hard now though. She treats me kind of badly, in a really weird passive way. From the outside maybe you wouldn't see it. But from where I stand it's clear that she prefers my kids over me, would choose them over me, and almost thinks of them as her own (which is its own issue in and of itself). It's really troubling to me. She's been sober for many years now and I know my kids mean the world to her but in a way I'm envious of her relationship with my kids. And I feel like IM pushed out, even though it's MY kids and MY mom. She tries to over rule my parenting and acts like I should do things her way, and part of me wants to scream at her cuz what gives her the right to get her shit together only now and think she can be like this super parent that I needed too? I don't know why I tell all of you this. It's pretty strange, venting to a countless amount of complete strangers. I guess I just need to get it off my heart and feel heard. Anyways, thanks for listening.
meme·
Yea i know how you feel i vented here a couple times i think its a sense of security an not being judged plus no one can be biased when they hear your story, an my mom
(crackhead/prostitute)is kinda passive, to me it feels like she jus wants me to forget the fact that she was never a mother to me from birth she left me an my other siblings with our family members an its seven of us an she never was there for none of us an now my baby siblings are in there early 20s an the rest of us are in our early 30s an now she wants to be this perfect grandmother takin walks an other things an it jus takes me back in time because i think about times i wished it couldve been her taking me places instead of aunts uncles big bros an SIL an step moms ect i jus wanna cry everytime i think about our current relationship an what we could've had but she choose other things an still does she stays where ma sister does in TX an my oldest sister says momas still smokin, my oldest sisters 34 an ma moms been doin this since she was born.... i jus wish i had a mom😥😭