my 1st son I had when I was 17.. his father and I were together when he passed away at the age of 19. (we were…
my 1st son I had when I was 17.. his father and I were together when he passed away at the age of 19. (we were middle/high school loves) I was 6 mths pregnant when he died and took I very hard.. I ended up naming my son after him full on name first last suffix.
fast forward 2 years I found an amazing man that fell in love with my son and I. He got me out of the rough patch i was in during that period of my life. took care of me and my son and made me go back to school, supported us for 2 years before i started working again. we got married and had now 3 more children.
on occasion my oldest will make comments about why can't he have the same last name as his brothers and sister. And my husband and I have talked about him legally adopting my son..
my only thing is, I feel like even though my husband has taken full responsibility for my son, his paternal family is still in his life, and have been since day 1and his father was not a deadbeat that just left him. I named my son what I did to carry on his father's name.
is it wrong to not want to change his last name until he is old enough to make that decision on his own but still have my husband adopt him?
I have gone back and forth for a couple years debating to myself.
Chrystal Clark ·
The guy my daughter calls dad isn't her dad but I told him wen she gets older we will let her decided if she wants his last name or not
Lucia Cordero·
Мама двоих (младенец)
You could hyphenate his name & add your husbands last name? Does you son want to completely change it? Does he not? Would your husband be okay with adopting him but not having his last name change?
He's probably still young to be fully aware of what he really wants to do about it..
becky·
Мама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого
same.boat. I feel like he needs to make that decision himself and he just is to young to make that kind of decision... but then I feel selfish for wanting my husband to legally adopt him without giving him his name.
Jenni·
Мама дочки (5 лет), беременна (35 нед.)
Adopting him shows alot, you dont need a last name to determine anything more you know what i mean? I dont know if im wording it right but he has taken him in as his own and even wanting to adopt him is amazing
Leah·
Мама сына-младенца
@mommab4, I would leave his name after his father bc no matter how he feels now he is still a child and can't make responsible choice just yet not that changing names is irresponsible but u know what I mean he may decide later he wants it back. Personally since he is a boy and will have his own wife and kids some day I would leave it forever if the child was a girl it's a little different bc her name won't carry on. Also like u said he wasn't a dead beat he was a good man and ur son will someday realize that even though he never met him but once he creates his own child someday he will probably understand at that point and in another scenario if he met the love of his life that had a previous child I'm sure he would raise it as his own as it husband has did him. Boys just need there daddies names period.
Amber Jacq ·
I'd wait til he was older and then explain to him what happen to his dad and then leave that choice up to him
Naomi Israel ·
I agree with @amberjacq