Pretty sure I'm getting depressed again. I don't wanna eat or sleep or do my schoolwork, I don't…

Pretty sure I'm getting depressed again. I don't wanna eat or sleep or do my schoolwork, I don't wanna play with Isabelle, I don't wanna go out and do anything, I don't wanna talk to anyone. I literally don't want to do anything.

We're going on vacation next week and while I'm excited for it, I know I'm just gonna be even more depressed when we have to come home.

I love my daughter but the monotony of daily life is just awful. I can't stand it. I'm sure working would help but I don't have anyone to watch Isabelle and we can't afford daycare. I can't take her out to places because she has to take a nap after an hour or so of being up or she turns into a demon. We really can't do much of anything other than sit around the house all day everyday.

I'm just bored. I have no motivation. I keep snapping at my bf and I feel bad but I really just don't want to talk to anyone. I hate it. I don't know what to do. Therapy is a waste of time and money and antidepressants just make me gain weight and dont do what theyre supposed to so those aren't an option. I don't have any friends. I can't find a hobby bc I'm busy taking care of a baby and her nap schedule makes it impossible to do anything. I don't even wanna be in school anymore bc I don't wanna do the work.

I just feel like I'm out of options. This isn't what I wanted for myself. I love my daughter, I really really do, but everything is just so...meh. My life has changed SO much since she was born. Everyone else I know with babies still works, still has a social life, can still go out and do things and bring their babies places bc they can stay up all day. But me? I'm pretty much a hermit now. I'm jealous.