Im sorry for this post. Its depressing just to warn people. I just need to let things out before i go crazy with these…
Im sorry for this post. Its depressing just to warn people. I just need to let things out before i go crazy with these horrible emotions... Everytime I think about my dad I cry. It makes me so depressed and it doesn't help with these hormones making me extra emotional. I hate how I was so mean and cruel to my dad. I mean I'll never understand why he always said the things he said, or did the things he did, but I miss him so much. Me and my mom and sister went through hell that day... I'll never forget him laying there, or the look in his eyes, or the grinding of his teeth as he seemed to be in so much pain as I'm histerically screaming for someone to call for help for my dad. I was praying to god for him to be ok...😢 I tried everything I knew to do... he was revived by me atleast once.. was flown to the hospital in GA and was stable for a few hours. I should have never left my dad's side to go home and make sure everything was ok here even tho I thought at the time my dad was going to be ok and up talking soon. He was still unconscious when I was leaving. Before I left I held his hand and I told him I loved him and I'd be back as soon as we get done taking care of stuff at the house. I kissed him on his forehead and was about to leave when he squeezed my hand.. almost like a I love you too... 😢😢 he never did wake up. He made a turn for the worst while me and my sister were gone so we hurried back to GA. We got there and spent the next few hours with our mother, waiting on other family members to arrive and going back and forth into the ICU to see my dad and pray for him... then at 5:58am on Oct 10th, 2017 my dad's heart failed for the 4th or 5th time and we let him go instead of the Dr's breaking the last 3 ribs he had left that weren't already broken. That was THE hardest and THE most heartbreaking day of my life. I had to comfort my older sister while she held her 3 month old baby, and my mother who had to make the decision to let her husband of 22 years go... I tried to hold all my emotions back as I tried to comfort everyone else but inside I was breaking, a piece of me will forever be broken. I'm sorry if this depressed anyone.. I just needed to get this out and I can't vent on fb because of my family...
Brittany Brockelmeyer·
Do you mean 2016?
Brittany Brockelmeyer·
Im sorry you had to go through that i know how you feel except i never knew my dad all i know is he was never there he left when i was born
💎Jade💎·
Its good to let it out and vent about it sometimes. Im so sorry for your loss I can imagine how hard that must have been to go through. But, at least he isnt suffering anymore. 💙 Here if you ever need to talk hun. @twinmomma2b
Sammie ·
Мама дочки (10 лет), беременна (18 нед.)
I'm so sorry for your loss!
Jasmine Cleveland 💕·
В ожидании первенца
@bbrittany0518 yeah I meant 2016.
Jasmine Cleveland 💕·
В ожидании первенца
@sammie20 thank you I appreciate it
Brittany Brockelmeyer·
Im So Sorry For Your Lose But Inagine How Happy he is or is going to be watching down on his grandchild he might even be a gardian angel if it were meant to be try not to be down, remember what you feel the baby feels
Jasmine Cleveland 💕·
В ожидании первенца
@jade2017 thank you. And yeah its so hard to go thro everyday now. Knowing he will never meet my babies and they never get to meet him
Brittany Brockelmeyer·
Imagine*
Jasmine Cleveland 💕·
В ожидании первенца
@bbrittany0518 thank you. Yeah he'd be happy I'm having one of each. He'd tell me I have stupid written on my forehead for getting pregnant lol but he'd love both the babies with everything he had
Brittany Brockelmeyer·
Same thing my mom would say to me
💎Jade💎·
@twinmomma2b I know exactly how you feel. I wish my dad was here to see his grandson to be, but I know he iw watching over us and that is what yours is doing too.
Jasmine Cleveland 💕·
В ожидании первенца
@bbrittany0518 it's funny when I think about it. It's like I can hear him saying it. but it's ok. He sees everything that is going on. I know he'll be with me during my csection and with the babies thro their lives.
Brittany Brockelmeyer·
Don't doubt it , my brother used to actually see our grandmother when he was younger dont fear it embrace it if you feel like someones watching down over you and your precious ones then do believe it's him
Brittany Brockelmeyer·
@twinmomma2b
Jasmine Cleveland 💕·
В ожидании первенца
@jade2017 I will keep believing he is here watching over my babies and will be here with me thro my delivery and their lives. Your dad's with you too. I don't believe they just leave us, I think they are always here always checking up on us
Jasmine Cleveland 💕·
В ожидании первенца
@bbrittany0518 sometimes I feel not so lonely in this house and I assume it's because he's here with us.
💎Jade💎·
Yes thats very true. Your right about that and one day well see them again Till then they live on through us and in our hearts. 😊😊😊
Tiffany·
Мама дочки (1 год), беременна (22 нед.)
@twinmomma2b, I know exactly where you are... my dad's birthday was on the 9th and I've been very depressed... on April 7th he will be gone 1 year... I had to be the strong one for my sisters and mom, I took care of his burial arrangements and all his final wishes, and I planned the memorial, packed up his house, had to dispose/donate his stuff, he was renting a home, so I had to have all of that done in less than a week... plus sell his car and motorcycle, and do all the paperwork for his pension to get distributed as he wanted it! I feel like I never got a chance to grieve yet... now I'm pregnant and the hormones make it impossible to hold back all the emotions! After holidays, I use to look for those candy gummy burgers, they were his favorite... I'd buy them on sale and mail him a bunch of them... the other day, someone gave me a gummy burger... and I literally cried for the next hour! It's the little things that catch you off guard... if ever you need to talk to someone about it, send me a message... we can talk and cry together! 😅 the emotions are real, and we need to get them out!
Jasmine Cleveland 💕·
В ожидании первенца
@dreamermom thank you. And yes these hormones are no help when I didn't get time to grieve before I found out I was pregnant either. If you ever need to talk you can message me too. I'm always on here lol I have nothjng else to do.
Tiffany·
Мама дочки (1 год), беременна (22 нед.)
@twinmomma2b, 😂 me too! There are always things I 'could' be doing... But I've been super lazy this month... mostly I think because I'm sad about my dad... thankfully I have a wonderful hubby who is really understanding!
Jasmine Cleveland 💕·
В ожидании первенца
@dreamermom same here. My hubby is always telling me to sit down and of course I'm lazy right now I'm like ok!