Girls. I have a question and I have a feeling it's going to raise a few issues but I need to ask it…
Girls. I have a question and I have a feeling it's going to raise a few issues but I need to ask it anyway because my best friend won't talk to me as a result of this.
Basically I allow Luke to self settle at points. So when he's crying I give him time to settle himself and distract himself with other things like his toys. I never leave him for long to do it. If he's showing no signs of calming then I'll go and give him a cuddle etc and calm him.
My best friend has told me that I shouldn't be doing that and I should be there with him soothing him from the start.
I thought I was doing right by Luke by allowing the self settling which does happen as my thoughts were when he goes to nursery or stays with family he's not going to have me there all the time to soothe him.
She totally disagrees and has said some very mean things to me and as a result won't talk to me.
What's everyone's thoughts on this? Am I doing something wrong? I'm worried I am screwing up now 😟
Jane·
Your doing nothing wrong. X
Alisha Pomells ·
When my daughter is being aggy I lie her down and she will moan and whinge and until she falls asleep. If I cuddle her she will just cry more lol its so odd so I encourage self soothing. This friend is clearly not a friend if she's not supporting your judgements. You know what's best for your child. Do what works for you and find a new friend x
Gabi·
You're doing nothing wrong, just keep it up do what you're doing cause it's clearly working for you and your little man he sounds like he's a happy baby so there's no concerns, your friend sounds very rude and judgemental just ignore her for a bit and let her get over it everyone's got a different way of parenting and what works for one baby might not work for the other xx
Sara-Louise·
We all have our own ways we choose to raise our children & you will often come across people who disagree. However she's showing such immaturity by not talking to you because you have a difference of opinion. Not really much of a friend & your probably best without being 'friends' with someone who is that judgemental. There's nothing wrong with allowing our child a little time to self-soothe. As you say you go to him if he gets too upset. And there's nothing wrong if a parent decides to go straight away to pick up & cuddle to them to sleep. It's personal preference.
Jess·
Мама сына-младенца
Thank you @rose123610 @mother_of_humans @gabilicious @sara-lou @littleelf85 @mum2sky . it's just really upsetting as I lost all my friend apart from her when pregnant and now she's not talking to me either.
Yes my friend has a little boy 14 months old. I've never said anything to her about the way she raises her child so I expect it back seemingly not xx
Sara-Louise·
Most of my friends have children & we all do things differently. One friend doesn't like dummies, both my boys have had dummies. Another rock's off to sleep. I've never wanted to do that. But we've never judged each other about our choices. There our choices to make. Maybe she'll realise she over reacted but I'd expect an apology or I wouldn't bother with her anymore. It's sad because we often loose friends when we get older & move on but she's hardly being a friend so perhaps your not losing much.
Jane·
I have a friend who tells me she can't believe I've left my boy with my family over night as he too young. He shouldn't be in a big bath as he too little. We argued a couple of times x
Chelle ❤👶👑·
Wow...She s really not a friend judging you.
It is your son and you are entitled to bring him up how you see fit and in a way which benefits you and your son.
I would tell her where to stick her opinions. 😂
Mary·
Мама сына-младенца
I think that if it works for you and your baby then it's fine. Each baby is different. I think your friend is entitled to her opinion but she shouldn't be making you feel like rubbish. Friends should be there for you not making you feel worse. Not a friend I would be keeping for much longer if I was you xx
Bethany·
Мама дочки (1 год)
I think its up to you what you do with your child :) But I personally think hes too young to be left to cry....I was talking to my family nurse...even at 12 months they dont recommend to leave them to cry xx
Jess·
Мама сына-младенца
He's not left for long 5 minutes tops if he's not settling- I don't leave him for hours. He's usually quite happy. He'll happy fall asleep in his bed after a story and a cuddle. I don't leave him in bed or for a nap if he's upset. I'm worried that I'm going to go back to work and although he'll be at nursery with me 1.5 days he's going to be away from me for 2 days. He'll have to deal with being without me there. I don't want to spring it on him x
emma·
i don't see the problem with it, however i did cuddle lewis to sleep every night until about 8/9 months🙈 until one day he just decided he didn't want mummy's cuddles to sleep and would rather settle himself. since then i've just put him to bed and he will sleep, if not right away then he will usually moan for a few minutes then eventually go to sleep. we do have the occasional bad night where he will cry for longer, if he's teething, but i just go in and out of the room every few minutes to soothe him or sit by his bed! everyone has their own idea of how to parent and if this works for you and baby then keep it up! xx