I need some serious help. My husband has a very very dangerous job. We just moved so he decided to…

Telling him no will most likely cause issues between you two. I'm not sure what your husband does but mine is in the Military. When he first decided to join I wasn't really for it, but it's something that he really felt he needed to do, so I supported him and loved him through it. Is it worth possibly the relationship ending because of where his job is? If I was in your position I would support him and just pray for his safety if he really is set on going. I'm sorry your going through this though. That's a really hard decison

I feel like he was wrong for applying to the TWO places that you discussed not transferring to. And he was definitely wrong for going against that, when y'all decided to agree as a family where he would transfer to. It doesn't just affect him, it affects you all.

He should take your feelings into consideration as well. It's not your job to just sit around and agree with every single decision he makes. Talk to him about it.

@kmharr3 he's a police officer. 😣 with all the anti police stuff going around I really just didn't want him to go to a city where the shootings are one of the highest in California. it's just so hard because I don't want him to resent me but I feel like I'd rather have him resent me than be without him if something were to happen 😢 but then I'm like no, he's your husband, you go where he goes and support him. It's seriously the hardest decision I've ever had to make. 😣

@breloya thank you! I told him that and he said that he just wanted to apply, and that he hasn't even made any decisions, and figured if be fine with that but I even told him the minute you applied you made a decision. now I have to be the one to stand in the way of your dreams or say no and affect our relationship and your career. I just wish he could see how hard it is. 😕

All you can do as his partner and best friend is support him. I have friends who are wives of police officers and firefighters and they put their lives at risk daily. That support is what they need to survive and provide a reason to do their jobs.

Oh man, yeah I can definitely see why you are upset. Would he listen though if you told him he can't go? Because it sounds like he didn't really listen to you when you told him not to apply to those locations. Sounds like you two need to sit down and have a heart to heart

@kmharr3 yeah, he would listen if I told him not to do the transfer. He says he misunderstood and thought I would be okay with it as a last resort. I was like no you just don't think sometimes lol

we have a really strong marriage, and we've never really dealt with anything like this so it's hard. I feel like it's either me that suffers, or him.

He has a dangerous job as is... and I get it, someone has to do it, even in the more dangerous areas... but if he agreed to choose as a family, why go against that? If he chose elsewhere and was forced to go to the more dangerous area, at least he tried to respect your wishes, ya know? But to purposely go against and choose it anyways, no. I say don't give in. Support him regardless of what happens, but don't just give in to it. Definitely press the issue and talk to him about it, especially since you and he agreed it was a family decision anyways. Good luck. ❤

@ginz what's even crazy is that the department he was with before was the most dangerous department in the United states. I think that's why I'm so scared. because I was thinking I would get a break from him being a place like that. Now that he's a dad and he's my husband I just want him safe. I felt like since we moved he was out of there and I'd finally have a peace of mind but not anymore 😣

@sarahbelle that sucks. You can try again to express your feelings and what has you so concerned. Perhaps you can list out pros and cons with him. Transferring offers what value? Higher pay? Opportunity to advance career? Better neighborhood to raise family? Lay out your priorities and his and find a compromise.

I think you should support him. there is dangerous jobs everywhere. you can't let the stress of "What ifs" overcome you. try to always think positive

@ginz thanks girl! I will do that. ❤

@dawnrose thank you girl, you're right. It's just hard to not let the fear of losing him consume me. 😕

you're welcome... I always worry about stuff too

You're welcome!! ((Hugs)) keep your spirits up!