Need advice for step parent. My husband is not the father of my eleven year old, but has been in his…
Need advice for step parent.
My husband is not the father of my eleven year old, but has been in his life since he was 3. We go back and forth on how to approach issues with him and I'd love some input. My son is very active, social and extremely intelligent. But he can be kind of immature. He likes playing sports, being with his buddies and playing video games. My husband is sometimes overly critical of him, in my opinion. Like last night. My husband gave B a list of exercises to do to "get stronger" for football at the beginning of the week. He told him he'd help him out if he wanted someone to train with and they would make it fun (my son is small and complains if he has a bad game. This is my husbands way of helping him). So he asks him last night why he doesn't want to do the exercises. I watched my boy struggle to find an answer when he finally said he wanted to play with his brothers. Then my husband looked at me and said he was disappointed. We discussed that for a while but the situation escalated. He feels like he tries, but if his advice isn't taken or done immediately, then he kind of gives up. I feel like he could be less negative and more encouraging in his approaches. I think he tries at first, but quickly gets discouraged and is quick to blame it on the boy for not being more motivated. How can I create a more positive environment at home? Every time I try to talk to him, he thinks I'm babying the boy and he needs tough love.
IS·
Мама двоих (младенец)
@jmarcum1982, my husband is very similar. if he gives our daughter a solution to something, she'd better be doing what he said. otherwise, all hell breaks loose. I think this is how they show they love and care. if they do not say anything, this means they don't give a sh*t. I am not sure you can change the way he reacts.
Jacqui·
Мама сына (3 года)
You're probably right. I just hate that it causes tension. I try to tell him that if he were a little more positive, he may see an outcome he appreciates more. I don't think he even knows how. After our discussion, my husband laid on the bed looking at a book. I got mad and went upstairs to tell him I could use some help getting stuff ready for the next day. He asked what needed to be done, and I gave him a couple things. He asked what I wanted him to do after that and I said he could at least spend time with the boys and his response was "well brayden just wants to play with his brothers". Like WTH?! Really?! I felt like slapping him and going "get off your ass pansy bi$?h!". Maybe brayden choosing to play with his brothers over his training hurt his feelings some how, but for real! I just think that with kids, you try. And then try harder, and try again and then maybe try something different. I don't want to see us give up on them.