You are so beautiful. Don't beat yourself up so bad. Your in the hardest hood around, Motherhood! Some days it's easier to wear that title than others but that's what makes us Mother's. A happy mom is happy babies! I agree with @ada_1023,

Baby steps. Eating right and exercising is the only way to see results. You DO NOT need to starve yourself. You just need to eat the right things. More smaller meals to fill you up. Look up healthIER options for things you like. Cutting out sugar is important. Not completely at first. But try to eat fruits instead. Again look up healthier cheat options.

Working out doesn't have to take over your life either. Start out with a little walk to get your blood pumping. Then finish with a good workout routine. (Try 25 jumping jacks, 25 push ups, 25 squats etc. If you have to start out with 1 that's ok! Everyone has to start somewhere.) Look up workouts you can do without equipment. Isometrics is great. If you can buy some workout stuff I would invest in shoes first. Dumbbells, ankle weights, yoga balls and mats are god to start too. But a gym membership is ideal.

Protein shakes and bars are great meal replacements but you must eat a complete diet.

Google other women on YouTube for inspiration!

It will take hard work and dedication but you got nothing to lose. In a couple years you'll feel so much better about yourself but more importantly you will live a healthy lifestyle for a long time with your babies!

Good luck mama! You can do it. 💓

Try drinking more water, no soda, no sweet and smaller meals, try taking some walks everyday. Little by little. Hopefully that can help you to where you wanna go.. Good luck in your journey;)