Some days I wish my husband never became a police officer it's been four years so far and I can't really adjust to his…

Some days I wish my husband never became a police officer it's been four years so far and I can't really adjust to his absence at all. Every year I spend the holidays alone and I don't get to have my New Years kiss n it's sucks even more now we have kids of our own together. I just cried yesterday because I was putting decorations up alone 😩 I just want a normal family life