#momlifechats with Dr. Christi - we're at our last questions and the final winner!!

A10 I always say there's a difference between fear and 'a warning'. If you're getting that feeling that this situation is not good for your child, then by all means, leave and look elsewhere. But fear is different. It's loud and tells you, "You're going to be a bad mom if you do that." or "Something will happen to your child if you do that". To quote myself, 'Fear doesn't prevent BAD; it prevents GOOD." When we give in to fear, we are more and more likely to continue giving in, and eventually, we stunt our own growth. It's scary to try new options as a mom, for sure. But, it's part of the deal. We don't want to raise kids who can't leave us because we've taught them to be afraid. As we remember this, we can overcome our own fears and realize we're doing something good for our kids by letting them individuate and experience life in their own ways, even at a young age.

@drchristihibbert, awesome advice! Q11 One mom writes: I can't help but to keep blaming myself for my weight gain. It is my fault and I feel worse because I didn't "bounce back" like everyone else. Any advice on how I can gain my confidence back and stop blaming myself so much?

If it's truly crippling, I also highly suggest seeking some counseling. You can learn so much about how to feel and do things differently from a good therapist. Also, I love essential oils to help calm fears. My faves are ylang ylang, lavender, clary sage, and the blends "serenity," and "balance" from dōTERRA. You can learn more w my FREE webinar series! Www.motherhoodessentials.org

@drchristihibbert, Q12 Here's another good question from a mom: How can I feel less lonely as a new mom?

How do I make sure I am my own person and not be known as JJ's mommy?

Is it shellfish sometimes to be my own person? I don't want to only be my son's mommy.

A12 What a great question! First, let me say this clearly: IT IS NOT SELFISH FOR YOU TO BE YOUR OWN PERSON. I see so many mothers who are empty nesters and can't even answer what they like to do because they've given ALL their time and energy to their children and lost themselves along the way. Our goal as mothers is to raise children who become healthy, productive, independent adults, so we do ourselves AND them no good by not remembering who WE are. In fact, I have seen in my own life and so many others' the power of being YOU as a mom. As we develop our own talents and gifts and share them with others, we SHOW our children how to do the same. We give them permission to "go for it!" because we've done so, too. I took my 11 year old daughter with me to an event where I was speaking and doing a book signing, for parents who had all lost a child. She watched me speak and helped with the book signing and at the end of the day she said, "Wow, mom. You are important. You help so many people! I'm so proud of you!" Thls has helped her want to do the same. We can't be selfish if we don't have a SELF. And trust me, as mothers, we give our children so much more we let that self shine boldly through!

@drchristihibbert, Q13 Another mom writes: When I got pregnant, I started grieveing for the loss of my mother even more than when I wasn't pregnant. What advice would you give to grieving about the loss of loved ones during and after pregnancy?

Last question everyone 😊

A13 Grief and motherhood unfortunately go hand in hand. When we become mothers, we think of our mothers and others we love, and if we've lost those important people, it can bring the grief right back to the surface. Even postpartum depression and anxiety can bring grief--grief over not feeling at our best, or over what we've "lost" as we've transitioned to motherhood. My best advice when it comes to grief is this: LET yourself grieve. I have an acronym that can help. TEARS--Talk about it, Exercise through it, use Artistic expression to process it, Record and write experiences/feelings, and Sob. Let yourself grieve and be willing to do the grief WORK for as long as it takes. Remember, it's not a sign of weakness; grief is really a sign of love. <3

@drchristihibbert, 😍😘❤️

Back atcha!! 😍😘❤️