-boyfriend and I go to the mall on black friday-
*walking around and a guy looks at me*
boyfriend: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT HER FOR?
me:...
boyfriend: that guy was staring at you? you didn't see it? no other guy is gonna look at MY girl

my boyfriend was in the military but he kinda looks srawney😂😂 it was honestly the funniest thing I've ever seen