sorry this may be a long one...I've come on here and wrote my post out about 6 times and every time deleted it..mainly because I think of how people might judge me.. but i have to let it out.
so i have a little girl who is 16 months old and my baby boy is 3 weeks old. I'm feeling really low. I feel as though I'm struggling to cope with both of them. I knew it would be hard i just didn't expect to feel like this. I took my antidepressants all the way through because of how i felt coming off them with my little girl. I'm still taking them. but my mood isn't lifting. I thought after a baby you are meant to feel happy and loving. I love my boy of course but i don't feel that rush of love for him like I did with my daughter. I'm not enjoying it this time round. I feel as if I never get enough sleep.when one wants attention so does the other one. or feeding or they are crying. my partner does the nights with my boy so he goes bed in the morning when I get up. he needs his sleep too so i try to leave him for at least 5 hours if I can. which makes me feel mean cos I need a lot more sleep than that and I feel bad that that is all he is getting a day. I have to express every 3 hours. but at night I've not been doing because I want sleep.. I feel really lost. really down and numb all in one and I don't know how to feel better. sick of crying every day because of how i feel. xx