clarebear83
clare
sorry this may be a long one...I've come on here and wrote my post out about 6 times and every time deleted it..mainly because I think of how people might judge me.. but i have to let it out.
so i have a little girl who is 16 months old and my baby boy is 3 weeks old. I'm feeling really low. I feel as though I'm struggling to cope with both of them. I knew it would be hard i just didn't expect to feel like this. I took my antidepressants all the way through because of how i felt coming off them with my little girl. I'm still taking them. but my mood isn't lifting. I thought after a baby you are meant to feel happy and loving. I love my boy of course but i don't feel that rush of love for him like I did with my daughter. I'm not enjoying it this time round. I feel as if I never get enough sleep.when one wants attention so does the other one. or feeding or they are crying. my partner does the nights with my boy so he goes bed in the morning when I get up. he needs his sleep too so i try to leave him for at least 5 hours if I can. which makes me feel mean cos I need a lot more sleep than that and I feel bad that that is all he is getting a day. I have to express every 3 hours. but at night I've not been doing because I want sleep.. I feel really lost. really down and numb all in one and I don't know how to feel better. sick of crying every day because of how i feel. xx
so i have a little girl who is 16 months old and my baby boy is 3 weeks old. I'm feeling really low. I feel as though I'm struggling to cope with both of them. I knew it would be hard i just didn't expect to feel like this. I took my antidepressants all the way through because of how i felt coming off them with my little girl. I'm still taking them. but my mood isn't lifting. I thought after a baby you are meant to feel happy and loving. I love my boy of course but i don't feel that rush of love for him like I did with my daughter. I'm not enjoying it this time round. I feel as if I never get enough sleep.when one wants attention so does the other one. or feeding or they are crying. my partner does the nights with my boy so he goes bed in the morning when I get up. he needs his sleep too so i try to leave him for at least 5 hours if I can. which makes me feel mean cos I need a lot more sleep than that and I feel bad that that is all he is getting a day. I have to express every 3 hours. but at night I've not been doing because I want sleep.. I feel really lost. really down and numb all in one and I don't know how to feel better. sick of crying every day because of how i feel. xx
16.11.2016
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daisysmummy
PND can happen any time after having a little one... It can happen straight away, after a few week or sometimes after a few months! I get so angry with my daughter sometimes even though she's only 5 months old... I've even shouted at her a couple of times :/ even though we are mums, we are still only human and there's only so much we can take xx
17.11.2016 Нравится Ответить
clarebear83
@daisysmummy and @noshinxoxo thank you for your reply. it's good to know I'm not alone.
I'm not sure it is pnd.I thought that happened like months after. I'm sorry that you are both struggling too or have been. it's really not nice. I try to have a routine and it's so hard. I can't block out when one of them is crying! we don't really have much family or support to be honest. we have my partners mum but she works til evening time. I dont want to off load on other people really neither. I feel I will be judged. I chose to bring into this world. I think I may take a trip to the doctors. I need to tell my partner how I'm feeling too i just can't find the right words. I think he knows I'm struggling because he keeps asking me what's wrong and I've broke down crying a few times in front of him. but he doesn't know to the extent of what I feel. I'd like to try get out of the house too but it's so difficult getting them both ready to go without any complications or set backs and then by the time either of them are settled enough i need to express again or get my partner out of bed! this time last year I was loving it. my little girl is a real gem but i started finding it hard with her when I was pregnant with my boy. I was told that it was highly unlikely I would get pregnant after my first who is 12 because of my endometriosis. then they put me on the menopause and I came off it and got pregnant so it was a huge shock but a nice one. then my boy comes along! I'm sorry.. I just need to talk to people who understand and know to some degree of what I'm feeling. xx thank you both xx
I'm not sure it is pnd.I thought that happened like months after. I'm sorry that you are both struggling too or have been. it's really not nice. I try to have a routine and it's so hard. I can't block out when one of them is crying! we don't really have much family or support to be honest. we have my partners mum but she works til evening time. I dont want to off load on other people really neither. I feel I will be judged. I chose to bring into this world. I think I may take a trip to the doctors. I need to tell my partner how I'm feeling too i just can't find the right words. I think he knows I'm struggling because he keeps asking me what's wrong and I've broke down crying a few times in front of him. but he doesn't know to the extent of what I feel. I'd like to try get out of the house too but it's so difficult getting them both ready to go without any complications or set backs and then by the time either of them are settled enough i need to express again or get my partner out of bed! this time last year I was loving it. my little girl is a real gem but i started finding it hard with her when I was pregnant with my boy. I was told that it was highly unlikely I would get pregnant after my first who is 12 because of my endometriosis. then they put me on the menopause and I came off it and got pregnant so it was a huge shock but a nice one. then my boy comes along! I'm sorry.. I just need to talk to people who understand and know to some degree of what I'm feeling. xx thank you both xx
17.11.2016 Нравится Ответить
noshinxoxo
Please go GP and get some help to talk about PPD/PND. What you're feeling is totally okay. I have one kid and the first 7 weeks I felt so low and so shattered and at the end of my tether. My midwife happened to visit on a bad day and I burst into tears in front of her. Finally my husband was like, let's send you to your mum's house for a week so they can help with baby and you can get a rest. It has been life changing. So if you're able to give even one of the kids to a grandparent or someone for one day, get yourself a break and then for the long run go see your gp hun.
16.11.2016 Нравится Ответить
daisysmummy
That's really sad :( I hope you start feeling better soon! Also, you're not alone... I struggle most days with my 21 week old daughter and that's just one!! Have you thought about going to counselling for PND? I've heard a lot of people say in the past that when you have two under two that strict routine is key! So I'd suggest keeping to a routine with your girl and getting your boy into a routine asap xxx
16.11.2016 Нравится Ответить
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