Just had a long talk with a old childhood friend of mine. She recently came to terms with her…

Doesn't asexual mean you don't have sex? Or aren't sexually attracted to people? I don't see why her family/friends would be upset about that? You'd think they'd be more happy that she's not out having sex. I hope everything goes well for her!

@missjess, it means they aren't interested in sex, have no desire for it or find it repulsive. also can mean they aren't attracted to any gender in particular. I'd think so too but the extreme Jewish people here believe it's a woman's duty to marry and pop out as many babies as possible. her mother had 14 children even tho she couldn't afford them (they lived in a three bedroom apartment) and like I said her father is very abusive especially to the children that don't follow everything to the T. and some of the friends that are religious come from the same type of home and a real repulsed hy anything the rabbis deem not permissible. the other biggie is that her boyfriend is Christian and not Jewish so she's really scared

Oh boy that's tough. Why is it necessary for her to even tell anyone? It's not like people are open about their sex lives to family. No one really needs to know.

this is horrible . is this boro park? because I can see this happening there . I've heard so many of these crazy stories. I feel terrible for what she's going through

@missjess, I think she wants to be open about her boyfriend bit wants to tell them about her sexuality to explain why she didn't stay only dating Jewish guys. I told her she didn't have to explain shit to anyone but she still wants to :/

@mrsmord, crown heights unfortunately :/ it's usually in t as bad but there are some terrible families here as well and it breaks my heart. I thank my lucky stars I was born into a semi normal one that didn't care that my husband wasn't Jewish

@rosiel49 wow ... there are deff some extremists, I grew up in a religious home. I did have a non Jewish boyfriend at some point but I knew it would break my parents heart if I continued seeing him and marrying him one day so I broke it off , it was one of the hardest things to do... but every family is diff , and I think it's wrong to abuse someone into being religious . my dad sort of did the same but not that terrible, I csnt imagine . I feel really bad for her .and I really hope it works out for her

idk why theyd be mad. asexual just means she have no sexual feelings. they should see it as a good thing

@mrsmord, I hope so too. I lobe her to death and told her I'd always be there. I was there for her all through high school when she had to live on her own and pay her own school tuition. she's had it rough. she deserves happiness

Yeah she's in a tough spot. And you are right she doesn't have to explain anything that's what I was saying. I understand her wanting to be open and honest but in this situation it's probably better she doesn't. And I totally understand @mrsmord, I have a similar type situation. my dad can be very harsh when it comes to me dating different races. So that's why I stick to white guys just to keep the peace in the family. And it sucks sometimes cause I'd love to date me a sexy black man lol but that's just how my dad is and he would probably disown me 😞 it sucks when you don't have understanding family, it puts you in such a hard position. You want to keep things good with family but you are also entitled to be happy with who ever makes you happy minus religion, race, age, sex...

@beanieboo, it's not like that for the extremists. if you're anything but what they tell you you should be then it's repulsive and wrong. her mom always used to tell us it was a woman's jobs to have sex with her husband and have as many babies as possible. being asexual she can't really do that. and that's not really the biggest problem. her biggest problem is her boyfriend being Christian

Yeah she deff had it rough she should do what she wants if she's happy that way .

@missjess, I tried to tell her that and she wouldn't listen to me :( I feel so bad. and yea I've had it rough too. my mom was a convert and she was one of those really crazy, forces her children to do everything kinda convert. if we didn't go to synagogue or pray properly we we're belittled and beat. but it started stopping when my sister (born before my mom converted) said she wasn't gonna deal and married her husband who's Christian. and then slowly the rest of us are like screw it we wanna be happy. it was hard. I still get snide remarks from my mom about my husband not being Jewish but he's an amazing person, husband and father. he even makes a effort to look and act the part when around my mom. not many people would do that.

@missjess Yeah true ,also I wasn't religious back then so it was even harder because I just wanted to be happy . I guess once I became religious I started to understand certain things and knew that I wanted a certain. life style but everyone has a different vision of how they want their life to be.

I wish her the best I hope her family doesn't shun and come down on her to much 😶

@missjess, I hope so too. I'll pass along the love. poor thing needs it