I'm having a random moment where a whole lot is going through my head all at once. Like the fact…

I'm having a random moment where a whole lot is going through my head all at once. Like the fact that I'm SUPER UPSET that I still haven't felt my baby kick but everyone else had and they're only like 12-14 weeks. It makes me feel bad like I'm not taking care of my baby and not making her strong enough. Nd I just want to be further along so I can have my baby. I dream of my baby girl all the time. The gender isn't confirmed yet but even before I heard it'd be a girl I had suspicions. My mom told me I don't want to be further along nd that I want to wait but no I WANT MY CHILD!!!! Maybe she's right tho. Maybe its not fun being far along. But I want to have my baby now. She means so much to me and she isn't even born yet. And I want to be a stay at home mom. I want to be with my baby every moment of her life. But I'm a single mom and need to support my child. I don't want child support. I don't want anything to do with the father ever anymore. But I want to have a guy to support me emotionally. This isn't gonna be the easiest thing in the world. I'm gonna be a young mom. And it makes me so excited that my dream of becoming a mother is being fulfilled. Idk why people say "You're so young." "You should be doing young people things." "You have your whole life ahead of you." I'm sorry but if you're referring to chilling out late at parties getting drunk or doing drugs or sleeping around then I'd much rather pass. That's never been the life I wanted nor had it been what I participated in. I wanted to be with little kids. I was teaching third graders while in college but realized I wanted to be with younger kids. I thought about early development but that wasn't my dream. I wanted to be an obgyn or midwife. I'm certified to be a midwife in Australia (not helping me much here but didn't know that before I took the course). Point is I feel I was meant to be with kids. I will make a great mother no matter what happens and anyone with negative thoughts can kindly kiss my a** and leave because I don't need it. This is my true dream. This is what I was meant to do. I naturally have a down to earth motherly nature. And although I may be young I'm happy to finally have my own child to look after and protect. This happened for a reason. And I'm glad it did. I love the fact that I get to spend more years with my child because I started young.

Anyways I'm getting tired and my dog is snoring very annoyingly loud so g'night mommas. Sorry I had to write a book about my feelings. Just needed to get that out. I have no one else to talk to because they all told me they don't understand or can't relate so they have a hard time understanding what I'm talking about.