I'm so insecure yall. I know some can relate. I have gained so much weight . not just with this…

I'm so insecure yall. I know some can relate. I have gained so much weight . not just with this pregnancy but I have never been over 100 pounds basically my whole life. before I got pregnant I gained almost 20 pounds. I have gained 10 more since I have been pregnant and now the back of my thighs and my ass is ruined. I feel like I can't even wear shorts ever because stretch marks are so bad. and my boobs are ruined with stretch marks too. I put lotion on and baby oil. nothing has helped. basically there isn't a day I feel pretty anymore. I'm so sick of it. it gets me so down. makes me trip about my other half if he even look at another girl. he hasn't seen me naked in 2 years. now I don't think he will ever. ugh . I hate being like this. looking like this. it really is depressing. my SO barely tell me I'm pretty anymore. last night during sex something was different idk. I can't explain it. now it got me wondering if he into someone else or I'm just no good anymore. . . knowing in the past he has watched porn and lied about it and searched for thick and curvy bitches. ugh I just get to thinking about so much . I think I want my tubes tied after this. . I'm only 21 I shouldn't feel like this. idk