so I know this isn't the classiest thing to post but I have to vent or my heart my explode lol. this…

so I know this isn't the classiest thing to post but I have to vent or my heart my explode lol. this was me and my best friend last Halloween. back then I drank every weekend (nothing borderline alcoholic or anything just a regular young adult doing what young adults do. back then I could stay up till god knows how early into the morning being crazy and having fun with friends and then wake up at noon to go hiking and stay up late again the next night. back then I did more than work and go home. back then I had a real social life. and I know it sounds like I gave up alot for my baby but honestly NONE of it is a real loss. I've gained so much, and he isn't even here yet. i can't imagine what all is to gain from the moment he is born. no I don't go out or hang out with anyone anymore because I'm too tired and busy between working and making sure my house is clean and bills are paid, I don't have it easy living with my parents anymore. but I still have friends, we just don't travel the same paths anymore. but we make sure to cross ways every now and then to check up on one another and I could not be more grateful for my true friends who stuck around once I became pregnant. they are truly like family to me. but I wouldn't give up one single day of carrying or caring for Sawyer to have any of that back, i know I'll slowly get to have a taste of living for myself back, in time. and I can wait because I don't want to live for myself anymore. i want to live for my baby. he is the greatest love I will ever know 💙