Ugh I need to get away from my bd. mentally. idk why but I'm still stuck on him. he don't give me…

It is easy to fall in love with who someone COULD BE instead of who they ARE. I think you are beginning to see who this guy actually is, and if you need to protect yourself and babies, then go. You can try supervised visitatiom with kids, but you don't need to see him. Best of luck!

Thx girl. we are already out I live with my parents since he put his hands on me. but mentally I cannot get away... im struggling really hard with that right now. almost like he's my comfort zone still for some odd reason still Smh. @sam.g

I was in the same situation until I got pregnant but thankfully that woke me up right then and I left without looking back. I dated him twice as well. Even after remembering how he was before, so I agree with @sam.g, because I know I loved who I thought he could be, when in reality he himself didn't want to be that person, just wanted to remain a low life. My advice would be to stay away from him and either don't communicate with him or if you absolutely have to because of the kids, then make it ONLY about the kids. People are manipulative, and I'm sure he knows your weaknesses, so don't let him play on them and draw you back in. Sorry I wrote a book, Good luck! 😊

Thx girl I really do appreciate the book response lol. I'm just so emotional. ugh. but he is seriously a low life. I just need to be done. @babyjjsmommy he's Def manipulative and I need to wake tf up.

@beebaby exactly what my parents said last night to me... which is tru. I STILL take care of his ass for no reason at all...

i went thru the same thing w my bd for 3 years & im having our 2nd baby . i cut off my bd cuz i finally was like im not putting up w it anymore . & just stayed a single mom . its better & your happier.

That's how I was with my first BD. I'd go to his house and I'd find used condoms all over the floor when we weren't using any, I'd show up and naked women would answer the door yet I took his shit cause I wanted my daughter to have her dad. Seriously, you just need to distance yourself from all men, become mentally and physically strong for yourself and your kids, and when you least expect it, there will be a wonderful man who will step up to the plate that he left at the table. I found mine, and he and my daughter seriously have a bigger better stronger bond than she has with her dad.

I remember when that happened. A lot of us were scared for you and nylah. When you think of him think of nylah and your little girl that's on the way and the life you can give them and yourself without him.

@babymaciesmomma you always give me the best advice and words to help me feel better. Ino I can do better. I just need to suck it up and DO IT! @firstbaby_girl yes girl I still think about that night every day... LITERALLY...a line was crossed with him. it will never be the same I can NEVER trust him again. I just need to get my shit together. thank you ladies so much for the kind words and not getting critical! @firstbaby_girl @babymaciesmomma @masonmommy011316 @beebaby @babyjjsmommy @sam.g

Haha I only have the advice cause I feel like we are really similar and I've been where you're at!! I know it's hard as fuck. I had my daughter and I waited around for him and was treated like shit for 4 YEARS before I finally got it. I don't even know what it was that finally got to me. I'd date other people here and there and he'd tell me I was his and I had no right to date. That he'd want me someday and I had to wait for him. I let that man walk all over me. And then I found my fiancé and I was liberated. Her dad hasn't walked all over me since. A good man will build you up to see your worth, not tear you down. Keep your head up! You're worth more than him!!

I went through some seriously shitty relationships and put up with bullshit from men for way too long. We all deserve better. I am 34 and just had my 1st baby with a really great guy. It only took me until I was 32 to figure out that I really could be loved by a great man who wasn't broken and didn't need my help. We came to the table strong, self-loving, independent people who made a great team. Only then did I decide to get married, and go off the pill. Now he is a supportive and loving dad and life is going great. You deserve to be left ALONE to heal, stand on your own two feet, figure out what you want and how to love yourself. It might take a year, two years, but at some point you'll stand tall and be ready to be a teammate with someone who can hold up their end, who treats himself and his loved ones with respect, and who doesn't "need" a partner, but wants one. You've got some healing to do mama. And this low life can stay right where he's at while you lift yourself up. 💛