How do you know if you have PND? Anyone else feel this way? When my LO is content I feel fine.…
How do you know if you have PND? Anyone else feel this way?
When my LO is content I feel fine. Slightly down and anxious but not necessarily depressed. However when my LO gets worked up and I'm say, lacking sleep or food and can't seem to figure out how to settle him, I loose the plot. Looking back on it I'm in utter fear of how my mind works in those situations. My husband doesn't even know half of what I feel and even he mentioned yesterday that he's scared to go back to work and leave me with the baby as I don't seem to have much patience.
I don't believe I would ever hurt my LO and were it to ever escalate to feeling too much I would call for help. I've suffered clinical depression before and I know my own limits.
However I don't know whether to mention it to a health visitor for example, because it's only in those hard situations that I feel beyond done, tears, anxiety, depressed, terrifying thoughts, horrible words.
Then I wonder is it part of being a mum and post-pregnancy hormones. Yet I read all these posts of women who seem to be so happy and so in love with their baby and all I feel is - I can't wait till this child gets a little older. I love my baby, however not having him respond to me and just constantly being on call for figuring out what does he need right now and worrying I'm doing it all wrong with no breaks of just happy playtime, happy cuddles, with some sign of love back from my baby, is really getting me down. I feel grateful I don't have an over-fussy or colicky baby yet still I seem to be barely coping.
I've seen my baby go to other people and settle and happily and contentedly sleep in their arms. Yet with me it's tears or I want milk or constant moaning. I think breastfeeding is also getting me down. I thought I'd find it a bonding thing, instead it makes me feel like a milk bottle.
I don't know.
I'm finding motherhood quite hard and I keep getting told, enjoy these moments when they're tiny! And all I think is, what is there to enjoy? I'm struggling.
Anyone else read this far and feel similar?
Sara-Louise·
The first few weeks and sometimes months are the hardest. It's such a massive shock to the system and no one can prepare you for it. Even when you have a happy content baby. Getting used to the lack of sleep and constant feeding. Breast feeding I imagine to be much more demanding. I've had baby blues but never pnd. Baby blues you have ups and downs. With lots of happy blissful feelings and the occasional flood of tears because you can't find your sleepers which is what I experienced. I also had a few nights I cried because Max wouldn't settle and I didn't know what to do. I'd have a cry shake it off and go back to him. If you have a history of depression it may be a possibility so if your open to talk about it with someone I think it can't do any harm. Better than ignoring the feelings.