I'm annoyed all of sudden I'm a bad person for being in a relationship... like I would never hurt me…

I'm annoyed all of sudden I'm a bad person for being in a relationship... like I would never hurt me or my child... Leah father was horrible so abusive I don't wanna go through that again.. I put Leah first in everything.. I'm was rape and molested as a child.. so I would never just bring just any man around her.. I don't want to live the life I lived... going through depression trying to commit sucide in and out of psychiatric hospitals hell no I don't want that.. it fuck me up.. abused my men.. Leah is gonna live a happy life.. but I do desire a family and a husband.. I want her to grow up in a two family home..