Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

I WANT MY BABY ! 😡 takes 40 weeks??? Seriously though!!! 😩😫 new date given so now I'm 36w2d

My sweet baby girl gained her angel wings this morning. She was my best friend, my true love my everything. She was so happy and beautiful, I'm struggling to say good bye. Sleep tight princess, mummy and daddy love you very very much ❤️

Is this a line??? Could this be my rainbow? Oh my goodness, I'm crying right now. AF isn't due until Friday so it's super faint. ☺️

So how do you Ladies feel about birth control. I'm against it cause I want my body to do what it naturally does. I've faced infertility issues so I'm not for it but my mom feels I should be on it after I have Tyson.