This is my third pregnancy. While I'm not a veteran mom by any means (my oldest is only 3), I consider myself experience at least in terms of pregnancy. I went to my appt yest. I'm 14 weeks and 3 days. My midwife always has a student with her and I never really mind. She asked me the usually questions and finally brings in the Doppler to check on baby. My last ultrasound was 3 weeks prior. And of course at 14 weeks she tells me it's difficult sometimes at that gestation to find baby. So the student starts searching and is pressing all around my belly, but not finding anything. My midwife is asking me different questions, obviously trying to distract me from how long it's taking to find a heart beat. Finally she tried... But there was still nothing. This was the first time in 3 pregnancies they haven't found a heartbeat with the Doppler.

I went back to the lobby and waited for an ultrasound. And for what felt like forever but couldn't have been more than 10 minutes, every possible scenario ran thru my head. Finally they called me back and thankfully they found baby right away. I've never been so afraid of an ultrasound as I was at that moment. My heart goes out to all the mommies who aren't so lucky. The mommies who don't find relief with the ultrasound because there's no heartbeat to be found. 💔💔💔