Truly tired of pettiness like for real...I'm not a huge religious person but god called on my heart…

Truly tired of pettiness like for real...I'm not a huge religious person but god called on my heart this morning to goto church and I couldn't cause I couldn't even get outta bed I still feel him tugging and I know it's cause he knows I'm about to blow up because certain people can't leave my past behind me and god knows when I finally blow up it's not gonna be good but in my heart I know I'm a bad ass mom who's very involved with her children I'm like a mama bear gentle with my cubs but mess with my family and I'll tear something to shreds but isn't that how it's supposed to be??? I love my kids and they come before EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. And it will always be that way