I just wanna rant for a minute because my mind is going a million miles a minute.

I just wanna rant for a minute because my mind is going a million miles a minute.

I am trying so fucking hard, but it seems like regardless of how hard I'm trying, people would rather jump on me for the miniscule things that I don't do right. They don't dare do this to david though. He changes a diaper and posts some photos on Facebook and he's dad of the year. And he is a good dad, I won't discredit him.

Me, though? I'm with her 24/7 almost. I am the main one who feeds her, changes her, bathes her, sleeps with her, plays with her, gets up at night with her, cries with her at 3am when she hasn't slept in 10 hours and she can't tell me what is ailing her. My daughter is healthy. She is well-fed. She is clean and bathed. She is 2mos, has great head control, can almost roll over, tries to sit up, she smiles and laughs and talks, she is on track (and almost ahead) milestone-wise.

My daughter is loved beyond belief, and has everything she needs and then some. But does anyone say anything about that? No. Instead they'd rather belittle me for the things I "don't do right": for co-sleeping, for "spoiling" her, for letting family have her one or two nights a week, for having a drink or two when she's not here, for not breastfeeding, for pacifying her, for not having her nails trimmed, for letting her cry for a minute or two sometimes, for not wanting to stare at her 24/7. They imply I'm a bad mother. They try to make me feel bad for not being perfect. FUCK OFF.

I never planned on having children, especially not at this age. I'm almost 20. I didn't plan to get pregnant at 18/19. I haven't been around babies in Idk how long. My youngest brother didn't come into my life until he was almost 4. I don't know what to do with kids. I have no experience or instinct. But despite all that, despite my lack of knowledge, despite all my own issues and the constant war in my mind screaming at me to just give up, despite all the people tearing me down, I still get up and handle my shit and take care of my daughter the best I can. So fuck it.