So this momma is upset this morning. First off I'm being discharged from he hospital and I hate…

So this momma is upset this morning. First off I'm being discharged from he hospital and I hate having to be able to go home without my baby. This morning the NICU pediatrician saw her and one of her test levels came back high. I noticed yesterday she looked kind of yellowish. They confirmed her bilirubin levels are high and she has to have phototherapy every 12hrs under the lamps in the NICU 6am-8am and again at 6pm-8pm. Our visitation hours have changed slightly. Before we were able to come whenever as long as we had our special pink bracelets and now I have to call to make sure nothing serious is going on with the other babies in the NICU so I can come visit. Not a major I'm just upset and scared this is going to set her back and she won't be coming home Tuesday. I've been crying all morning. Mommy instincts have kicked in in over-drive. Daddy let me sleep all night last night and he had a difficult time. We switched @5am and he went to sleep. I got up got come coffee while she was being seen by the dr and and when I came back I only had a couple minutes with her before they took her again. Now I'm waiting to be discharged but we can see her before we leave the hospital which at first the nurse made it seem like I couldn't so that's a relief. It's just the lack of sleep, the healing pain getting worse everyday before its getting better, and no mother wants to hear her baby's tests are coming back high, so yes I am a little upset and sat in the bathroom washing up bawling my eyes out like I did something wrong. My pregnancy was difficult and and after she was born she wasn't breathing and her lungs were full of fluid and they worked on her for an hour after delivery. I was so out of it I had a huge melt down after giving burn exorcism style :( and her tears come back ok then not ok and so forth so I'm stressing big time this morning. God I hate not being able to bring her home.