i feel like the longer im gone from home the more i kinda dont want to go back i hate hurting ppl…

i feel like the longer im gone from home the more i kinda dont want to go back i hate hurting ppl and my kids r my priority and i feel like things r still rnt going to b understood wen i get back. today i got a text from my bf telling he basically didnt pay his phone cuz he was more into getting something he doesnt really need right now and didnt tell me wat he was planning on doing at the time. i had asked if he had forgotten to pay it he said no that i had spent the money he had intended to use for payments but didnt explain he was going to b using the cash he had for the music equipment from gutiar center and then the 40 he had given me for his phone. so instead of arguing about it i just bought him a card and paid his phone for him. but b4 that hes telling me that me not wanting to buy a medication box for no real reason or that he kept asking me for the money back but never said wen he wanted to go to the bank that it had been irritating him since i left. im so irritated and im really trying not to b cuz im with my kids but its becoming really hard.