Soo this morning I am feeling some type of way and EXTREMELY exhausted. I'm 37 weeks 3 days and had…

Soo this morning I am feeling some type of way and EXTREMELY exhausted. I'm 37 weeks 3 days and had a weekly check up yesterday at my regular OB, today I go to the high risk OB for my stress test and ultrasound. Well she checked me down there and it took the second try to actually reach my cervix. I have a filter uterus and my c-vex is pointed towards my spine waaaay back there and is pretty long they said. She fucking killed me. I am dilated 1 cm. I've been doing some bat shit crazy cleaning lately and I know baby girl has moved down some and I think the cleaning put me at a cm. But after my appt I was a raging fckn psychotic lunatic all day all night and now I'm sitting here only 4 hours of sleep feeling horrible how I treated my man yesterday. We literally bickered and argued about EVERYTHING even if the sky is blue I would've been like no it's blue and has white clouds blahblahblah. I told him just to let me win. I was raging so bad I had contractions back was killing me I was out of breath. I had to go into the bathroom for a "minute" because even looking at him pissed me off. I know he's not ready, we do have a lot to do. His hands started shaking after she was I dilated. I'm not ready either being my first baby. What really set me off was his questions about dilation and the thinning and shortening of the cervix. Since he claims he has done his ready it just proved HE HASN'T...I sent him a bunch of shit and told him to get up to date with what was going on and we know she's coming soon. My girlfriend said her man couldn't stand her the last couple weeks so I'm taking my hormonal surge as a normal symptom of pregnancy from being stressed overwhelmed trying to cram in 3 months work in a couple weeks and the anxiety of labor delivery and how I am going to be as a mother. The shit is scary. Over and out. We shall see how much baby girl weighs today. I hope she gained a little bit from last week. They said he growth has slowed down a little bit. Idk but daddy better show up. I apologized for my ways yesterday I hope he's busy working and not avoiding me. I don't want a repeat of yesterday. We have a great relationship and don't fight at all. 🤕🤔😳😪🙃😶