Its so weird sometimes to think about actually being pregnant. Like I think there were so many times…

Its so weird sometimes to think about actually being pregnant. Like I think there were so many times in life I doubted that I would be blessed enough to pull my life up out of the gutter and take back my journey from what seemed like at times a hopeless path I had been on. After losing my brother last year and knowing that I will lose my younger brother to a terminal illness in the future I didn't know if my life could go on if theirs couldn't too. I always remember trying my best to look out for them or putting off things I wanted for my life to be there for them because I felt like it was my duty. But now I finally will get to be what I have always wanted more than anything in the world and that is a mother. and I pray God delivers me safely a healthy bundle of joy who lives a full and fabulous life. As much as I hurt or get nauseous or whatever pregnancy has thrown at me thus far I never forget how truly magnificent and wondrous making a life and gaining a love really is.