One thing I absolutely hate about being pregnant? The way your hormones can completely change you. I…

One thing I absolutely hate about being pregnant? The way your hormones can completely change you. I have never been the type to dwell on things that I can't change but since becoming pregnant, there's a few things that happened last year that I just cannot escape. It's constantly there in my mind, waiting for me to think about it and become angry or depressed. Then I get mad at myself because I don't want Luca to feel how upset these events make me and I don't want him to come out with anything against this person.

My mom thought about aborting me or giving me away while pregnant with me. I guess she felt that way a lot while pregnant because I had the worst case of abandonment issues growing up and had really bad anxiety. I've learned to deal with it and mostly overcame it but I fear Luca will come out resenting the person who constantly occupies my mind in this negative light and I really don't want that. I love this person with my whole heart and that's why last year hurt me so much and they know it.