mothers of step children. is there a time when you feel like giving up the motherly role? my step…

You'll have to get your husband on board. Otherwise your toddler will pick up bad habits too.

i just had this conversation with him and this isn't the first time. i told him that i look like the bad person in it now. its just crazy how his own mother never disciplined him. i try my hardest to make sure my son doesn't pick up those habits. i can't deal with bad kids girl. @tayek

I completely understand. My step son is 4 almost 5. Even though he is typically well mannered he is very spoiled. My husband and the bio mom were a 1 night stand kinda deal but we've all co parented together (for the most part) but everybody seems to still feel sorry for him because his parents were never really together so nobody has ever really disciplined him. There will always be days when you want to give up. I have them often simply because we've all struggled with the "titles" and using it as a manipulation tool from his bio moms side. But gotta remember it isnt their fault. Little kids dont get it yet but when they get older they will remember who was there and who didn't care. So i guess it boils down to you just have to take the co parenting role with a grain of salt. Also keep that communication line open with husband. It is important to understand where each others feeling are. Keeping it all in will only result in resentment later on. Its not easy but thats the part we take on as step parents.

@armstrong2, I definitely understand that. But you are not the bad guy. Teaching a child to behave and be respectful is one of the purest forms of love because it prepares them for life! Is not always spanking like people think. Spanking is correction, discipline is teaching. I believe the child will do well with you guiding him but dad MUST help.

Also, its important to never allow your kids to feel seperated. When it comes to the house all the kids, bio or step, should have the same rules. Allowing one to stretch them draws a line between family. You and hubby should have that conversation. At the end of the days its the kids who will suffer. My step son has been learning that dads house rules are different than moms house and it hasnt been as hard of a transition as we expected it to be.

you said a mouthful!! in the end i can't blame him because he doesn't know. its just hard being the only one trying and no one else trying. his grandparents from his mom and dad side spoils him. but my family accepts him and they will discipline when needed. which makes him not like them as much. im not saying whoopings its just a simple "no" or telling him to stop doing something and he gets upset. @pbandjones

@armstrong2, thats a toddler. Try not to make it personal. We struggled with that. If we said no about something he would get mouthy and tell my husband he wasnt allowed to be his dad anymore. But he talks it out with him as much as you can with a little one and stayed consistent with him and eventually it subsided and he accepted it for what it is. I went through a phase where i didnt even want to talk to my step son very much because my feelings were always being hurt. But then i realized he doesnt get what he is saying and he wont unless we tell him.

hopefully my husband will understand it now that he will be going to school from our house. he will be here all the time so rules will stick to him better. i want it to stick because on the weekends he will be going to see his mom and i don't want them to vanish like all the other times. @tayek

i have a 5 year old step son and i dont even tell him nothing cause he dad babies him all the time but we dont get him all the time which is fine with me. may sound mean but its better that way.

im understanding it now. slowly but surely. I've been in his life for 5 years now and at first it was easy because his mom was never around. once she found out the dad moved on she wanted to meet me and see if im able to be around their son. (whatever that was suppose to mean) he spent his kindergarten year with his mom and it was horrible. his mom never liked him with us for personal reasons. come to find out she was jealous of where my husband is in life now. (words from her mouth). its still a fuzzy story but thats not the reason he acts up. the little times we would have him, he'd behave and learn the rules. you can teach a child a little in 2 days. she had him for 5 days. and every time he is back with us its like i never taught him anything. im hoping now my husband will get it together. my little girl will be here soon and i can only do soo much. @pbandjones

its hard in the beginning because they're growing alot more. and my husband was the same way with him. but now its getting tough. at times i didn't want to speak to my step son because he was a spoiled brat. but its not their fault. @korahleah_11

yes mines the same way. its just hard on me cause my kids arent allowed to act like that but their step brother gets too. its just really hard.

we gotta get these daddies on the same page as us. because its not fair to the other children. its not their fault they arent there all the time. my 2 year gets disciplined from me and my husband but my step son rarely gets yelled at. i don't like it. same dads different moms. @korahleah_11

Yes its not an easy task especially when bio moms are conflicting that way. It will get easier. Just stay consistent. Once your daughter is here it will be another new experience for him as much as you and your husband. That will be a crucial time to get him adjusted and still feel involved. You will figure it out :) just dont give up and that will be what he remember when he is an adult. @armstrong2

i will. thank you soo much!! you really helped me out. @pbandjones

no problem! message me any time if you need to talk about it :) @armstrong2

yes i agree with you 1000%