Looking for some advice ladies.
Looking for some advice ladies.
My mum has most likely got several undiagnosed mental disorders, she is narsassitic, manipulative, and downright nasty. She essentially emotionally abused me when I was younger to satisfy her own twisted needs.
Anyway, ive grown up now & ive stood my ground with her many times, determined not to let her win & determined not to cut her out of my life completely. I thought we had gotten past the petty manipulation and stupidity but it's just been highlighted to me that when she looks after my 6 year old daughter that she manipulates and guilts her into providing info on my life.
Trying to manipulate me is one thing, but manipulating an innocent child, my child, is another thing altogether.
I'm not sure how to proceed because I can't confront her about it, because the person who provided this info wants to remain anonymous and confronting her about it would jeopardise that. But at the same time I can't just let her manipulate my kid :/
Sara-Louise·
If you feel your Mum has the suggested mental issues. Plus abusing you as a child, I'm unsure as to why you'd let her look after your child? No judgement just a general enquiry. Is she your only option of child care? I'd stop all unsupervised contact, that way someone will always be witness to when she's with your daughter. I personally wouldn't allow my children to be involved or around such behaviour.
Kayleigh McFadyen·
Мама дочки (6 лет), беременна (32 нед.)
@mrsschmalz, it really is. I always thought that she could treat me how she wanted but aslong as she was loving and decent to my kid then I would be fine with that. But eh, it's not turning out quite like I had hoped & leaving me stumped :(
Kayleigh McFadyen·
Мама дочки (6 лет), беременна (32 нед.)
@sara-lou, as stated in the post, it's been a while since a lot of that happened. Bridges have been built and she's always been great with my daughter, compared to what she was like with me. Jen has always been happy around her and my mum spoils her. I don't believe my daughter is in any danger but I don't like the idea of my mum squeezing her for info on me. Sorry if that wasn't clear on the post lol 🙈 x
Natalie·
I agree with @sara-lou on this one. Maybe supervised visits is the best way forward to safeguard your daughter whilst in her care. Atleast that way you know your daughter is safe and not been abused or manipulated in anyway.
Kayleigh McFadyen·
Мама дочки (6 лет), беременна (32 нед.)
@sara-lou, @natzie86 you're all possibly right. However ten minutes in the same room as my mother and I'm usually ready to burst into tears...
Despite mine and my mothers shoddy excuse for a relationship, she's always been close with my kid and I feel that if I take that away completely my daughter will only end up resenting me as a result :/
Natalie·
Have you spoke to your child about this?
Kayleigh McFadyen·
Мама дочки (6 лет), беременна (32 нед.)
@natzie86, no. I wasn't sure wether to discuss it with her, didn't really want to drag her into it more than she already is :/
Natalie·
I wouldn't drag her into it but maybe casually bring it into conversation see if she has any worries about her nan etc
Sara-Louise·
You don't have to stop all contact but if you're concerned about what's happening/ what she's saying to your daughter then being there when their together would resolve that issue I guess.
Shona·
Hey lovely, could your mum be Bipolar? My mum acts like this when shes off her meds and usually flips between being nice or being horrible. And can be a nasty piece of work. She's also manipulative, nasty and makes threats and is emotionally abusive I went through it as a child I know hurtful it can be. Maybe it would be worth you contacting a mental health team for an assessment just express your concerns and you can do it anonymously. I agree with. @natzie86 talk to your daughter and see if she has any concerns. And go from there xx