Sooooo semi rant... Day before yesterday I went through an emotional roller coaster... So many…

Sooooo semi rant...

Day before yesterday I went through an emotional roller coaster... So many thoughts was going through my head some of the thoughts my relationship came into play I'm thinking how boring the house is my BF just sitting watching videos on his phone I can't entertain him I can't lay under him (due to a setback behind me pushing squish out I'm sleeping in the recliner) then it got deeper me questioning his love for me the fact I'm on a walker now... My appearance all together .... So I told him ... He replies with I love you so much ... I would never want anyone else you did a great job your beautiful and so on.... YESTERDAY he asked me to send him pictures I had of squish so ok he hands me his phone I was attempting airdrop (iPhone thing) then I went into his gallery to see what pictures he had already.. While in there I come across three pics of these girls that have made a collage showing off there ass and vagina w/ there snapchat code .... THEN seen he sent $10 to some female email in which I asked he lied at first until I told him I seen the transaction then he confessed it was porn related... I instantly broke down feeling as I had been UNWANTED/UNATTRACTIVE... Was I wrong? He apologized constantly and said he was gonna allow a $10 mistake (that he apparently cancelled) come in between his family... And you could tell he genuinely. Felt bad (he wear his feelings on his face) ... I just feel this is a sensitive time and things like that shouldn't be done .. Porn maybe paying for it no and adding the girl on snapchat no 😐