I'd like to ask you all a question. How much do you think you have spent or has been spent on your…

Easily over 1500 already 😂 she's only 3 weeks

Around £1000 I think and she's not even born 😂😂 She has everything she's gunna need for months though. Didn't realise so much had been spent! 🙈🙈

I spent next to nothing 😂🙈 brought buggy second hand from 900-160 my dad and step mum done a massive hamper of toiletries etc I only brought a handful of clothes as we didn't know what we was having and the rest was given to us or brought I couldn't bare the thought of spending a fortune on things that he'll grow out of or won't need when I can put it in his trust fund xx

I recon I've spent about a grand altogether as we got a lot of things second hand, everything is in great condition and I think we've got everything now :) xx

Well over £2k and we're still going 😱 having said that, we've waited & planned this baby for a long time. I think you can make it as cheap or as expensive as what you want to Xx

Hard to say. With my first spent a lot everything was bought brand new!! This time round I've hardly spent anything xx

I wouldn't want to add it up! 😂 Even though this is our 2nd & we didn't actually need that much seeing as my sons 2 we're re-using cot bed, changing unit, clothes etc. We've still bought LOADS haha

So the reason I ask u all ladies is that baby's father hasn't paid for anything for bubs. I have and I'll be induced early too so that doesn't helping timing wise. I have 4 children but most are teens or nearly that. I have kept some things from my last child, but I moved last year so a lot went to the tip too. I mentioned yeaterday about a specific rocker and BD went mental at me. Not once have I asked him to pay but when he went mental I did bring up he won't even pay half or the cost of a cheaper version at that. He spends all his wages which are high on himself and his hobbies. The only thing he paid for before was a crappy travel system he lost his rag with saying how shit it was and how akward. So this time I want to buy a decent one with a pram part so baby can sleep in that during the day instead of a Moses basket downstairs as I have a toddler. Told him the price he went nuts. So I said ok even if I only spent 1k on everything that wouldn't be top spec stuff and even then he thinks that's nuts going on about how I'm throwing a strop cos he won't cough up. So here I am thinking well even if u only coughed up 500 quid in total that's not a lot given how much he has spare he pays no rent and only basic things like his csa and phone and a loan he took out since I have been pregnant for 13 k which all I saw of that was a new phone as he offered. He paid 3k for a new bike owns two now and a car. Went on a trip to France and left me here on my own without saying when I was in hospital and had my 12 w scan. So I'm sat here trying to recycle what I can but all I want new is a travel system and a cot and swing that is it. And I'm left feeling unreasonable even when I offered to pay for the lot! He then ripped into me because of this and wouldn't stop texting vile shit to me all evening! Everything else I have got or paid for already myself. Then he throws that he has paid for a tyre for my car 123 quid which I said I'd pay for and he paid for our other daughters bed. Again that was his idea. Now he's refusing to talk to me. Even spat blood because I re decorated my house and didn't speak to him. He doesn't live here! He did come on one trip to the shop and I tried to ask his opinion but yet I got disinterested I don't knows! So I cracked on paid myself and did it myself. I have also spent 700 quid on more storage round the house for baby. He kept saying he wants to come back here but we need to get finances sorted out. That was supposed to be next month. But given I'm due to deliver at 37 weeks I don't have long left to buy stuff and once he's here I will have about 100 a month to myself plus I have to pay 380 a month for my daughters nursery. Which he keeps saying is stupid. Sadly I feel I'm having to face the fact things won't change and the very fact he walked out on me when I was in hospital poorly after giving birth before then kept going behind my back spending all the money or walking out moving out then buying endless bikes cars and stuff means things won't change. He was given the last 2 months to prove to me he would make this work stop being selfish and be there. But yet I'm the selfish one moaning because he won't hand a penny over and I'm pissed because I got abuse when I said fine I'll pay but I'm not having u be shitty with me about it. So I'm fuming today I really am. But I wanted to see what others spend to see if I'm being stupid or not. But I don't think I am @briony1994 @daintyrachie @charliefreddiesmumma861 @daisysmummy @holliesinead @kelsxox @sara-lou @

@suzie80, sorry to hear that you're having a tough time whilst you are pregnant, like it isn't hard enough already. Maybe you should make a list & sit him down with it to explain your situation. It sounds like he has the means to provide for the baby & I don't think you're being unreasonable. Xx

I have Made so many bloody lists now for finances and still have them he just goes into a melt down about how he will suffer or go without. Hence why I thought if I just got stuff it would lessen the burden but it's never good enough @daintyrachie

Have you gone down the legal road of him providing for his baby? If he carries on being a dick, giving excuses not providing for his child that will be your only option. Your hardly asking for the world.

When we split up last March he paid nothing for his 2 year old but was paying for his other child every month through csa. Eventually come oct Nov last year I had enough of him threatening me with court if I didn't jump through hoops and went to the csa. He pays exactly what he pays to his other child now. But we briefly got back together I got pregnant and then 5 weeks into that he turned into a mess and went off then came back at 10 weeks after I said I would have a termination at 8 weeks as the stress was making me ill and my pregnan y was high risk for all sorts and I couldn't risk my life on my own. I offered to pay privately if he watched the children only to get spat blood at because I was going to do something so horrid without a discussion. So I didn't go and came back and he begged me not to do it. Promised me the world again and I believed him that was because he said what if that's my only son I may have. Que me finding out I'm having a girl and back to him not caring! I have taken him to shops pointed stuff out texted where I found stuff cheaper. Not once has he said I'll get this or that. Till I mentioned the cost of the rocker😢 I've not asked for money off him directly at all but told him it's my bloody money and all he spurts on about is how I don't include him. Sorry but he left the country after an arguement a few days before my 12 w scan and didn't tell me then I ended up in hospital for 3 days and all he did when he returned was spit blood at who the hell looked after the children and spat blood because I wouldn't tell him how my scan went and was horrid. I've been quite poorly and probably let him wear me down. He makes some effort then starts the emotional shit again of what about me and how I never inc him and how I don't care! I literally. Plus bang my head against a wall. I just forked out stuff for the house and his mother comes regularly to us so saw a chair in ikea reduced and he was up for me getting it and tried talking me into it till I said I'm gonna have nothing left. The shop left me over drawn and I had nothing for the chair and he had just been paid nearly 2k and he said oh I need to be cateful with my money😭 so I didn't get it as he has a habit of being all pro for spending my bloody money. He was supposed to put money aside and pay anything he needed before returning here so I knew he wasn't gonna land me in debt AGAIN! Last year he offered to pay for a boob job for me paid the deposit for me of 450 pounds then buffered off after an arguement moved out and left me in a contract to pay 4500 myself. And he went out and brought a new motor bike again with the money instead. So I'm still paying that. Plus the larger car I spent 15k on which I didn't need to as wanted a lower spec car. But he insisted if he was doing the driving down the line he wanted comfort, so I spent 4 k more on a top spec second hand model. I'm still paying the difference from trading my other car in. So that's 12 k on a credit card where he has had a hand in it. Bare in mind I didn't want to trade my beloved car in but he made me out to be inflexible . Instead he now has a sports car and two motor bikes and I'm left paying this. So I've been frantically paying everything I can before him being here cripples me. Then he starts this crap with me. He was on his last chance! Looks like I have a liver issue with my pregnancy and not once have he come over since I found out and I've been so upset. Instead he's off with mates tonight instead. But it's ok I'm meant to oh for food for his mother and other child and lend him my car on sun to get his other child as his car just failed it's mot. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of and taken for a mug. All my friends and my children hate the way he emotional abuses me and takes the piss.

@sara-lou,

You've put up with a lot more than I would or ever could do! I'd be walking away & not contacting him. He knows where he phone is if he's going to be involved. I couldn't bare my kids going through having a walk in, walk out man. Because let's face it he's not being a Dad, in any respect of the word. Expects you to keep him in he loop but then he has the choice whether he listens/pays attention or even gets back to you... Hmm. Waste of space your better off without that hassle.

I have put up with it I think because I was so poorly my last pregnancy and in and out of hospital then induced at 37 w suddenly then baby was in scbu then 10 day later I had retained products and had to have a d&c while baby was in scbu for two weeks then I developed a severe pp psychosis and was in and out of hospital for weeks. So given I have a high chance of the same again and now they think I am developing obstetric chloestasis too I'm panicking. I have no one to have the children at all for me. I know no one where I live and no one to help me at all. So he takes the piss knowing this. Even if I find an emergency child minder there's only a certain amount of time they can do stuff for me. Not to mention the cost.

@sara-lou,

just had to work it out but including pram then nearly 2k 😰😰😰😰😰 @suzie80 xx