I am so annoyed and im not sure if i truly have the right to be. The mother of my husbands first son…
I am so annoyed and im not sure if i truly have the right to be. The mother of my husbands first son (results of a drunken one night stand) is on again off again pain in the ass. We get along for the most part but she constantly belittles my husband always has and likes to tell people he does nothing even though hes a wonderful dad and stepped up to the plate from the very beginning (even paid her rent, bought everything after she quit her job, and took care of him by himself the one month she disappeared after he was born) anyways, fast forward 4 years and she is engaged to a decent guy and we all get along for my step sons sake. But she makes things very difficult on my husband. Shes caused HUGE confusion in my step son by telling him her fiancé is his first dad and she takes everything she can get out of my husband financially. He makes $1,400 paychecks and brings home about $480 after child support and insurance. Hes never complained once because we make due and shes not worth the fighting. Well we tried to concieve for 2 years and finally did it in January (expecting twin boys in October!). Shes getting married in October and all the sudden after we got pregnant and my step son started talking about his brothers she and her fiancé decided they were gonna try. She told us today she is pregnant 😒 Part of me doesnt want to be petty because a child is a blessing no matter what. However this woman copies me down to dying her own hair blonde! I feel like she only wanted to get pregnant because we were and she wants her son to be more excited about her baby. (in the beginning he used to cry about us having these babies and hed tell us we were hurting his mommies feelings because im not a mom and she doesnt want a baby in my belly only in her belly). Im really nervous now that shes going to start telling him that her baby is more important and he wont be that excited for the twins anymore. Am i being completely selfish with this?! Ugh!
missing563user·
You're not selfish, and your feelings are legit. She sounds COMPLETELY insecure to me, so obvi you're the better one in the situation. The thing I'd be careful about is not putting undue burden on the stepchild or accidentally lashing back out at her through the kid or badmouthing her. If she's filling his head with the confusing messages about who's more special and who's really daddy, it will bite them both on the ass. The only thing you can control is what the step child sees/hears/experiences when with you and your man, and it may not seem like much but that's a HUGE influence :). Just make sure it's positive and consistent and structured and the kid will notice. I hate it when insecure adults use the kids as warfare 😞 she's really selfish. It only hurts the kid.
Angel Jones·
Мама сына (4 года), беременна (29 нед.)
thank you! ugh! We've always tried to stay positive. When he brings up the daddy thing we usually ignore it unless he has a question then we will reiterate that his dad and his mom are mom and dad because they made him together and that her fiance is step dad and im step mom and that we all love him. He seems to get it but at their house there is no telling. We both delt with manipulative parents and hate seeing it happen. Her fiancé is also very insecure, which as a step parent i fully understand to an extent because it is hard co parent a child who isnt biologically yours but you still love as if they were, but he thinks that gives him the excuse to enforce the daddy thing. Iv been in his life since the day he was born (i was friends with my husband for 6 years before we dated and got married) and when we got married i told her id always respect her as a mom and id never try to take her place so hes always called me by my first name. But then it got to a point she told him i couldnt be a mom and i dont look like a mom etc. And that stuff hurts like hell especially when we were dealing with fertility issues. So im just so frustrated that my step son is finally getting attached to the babies and excited to be a brother and hes understanding everything and now shes pregnant and i know its going to end up being a competition if she has any say in the matter. @yogabump
Angel Jones·
Мама сына (4 года), беременна (29 нед.)
I keep my tongue tied on a lot of things which is not my usual personality lol but i do it so my step son doesnt have that drama in his life. I keep telling myself were being the bigger and better people. But man shes pushing my hormonal buttons now. I would have thought after so many years shed even be thankful for what she does have. Maybe id feel different if she had an ounce of respect for my husband @mcrowell0970
Norvella·
Мама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого
omg I would've already kicked her ass a long time ago.